My deepest condolences on your loss. I, too, lost a son. Only time healed my grief, not my belief or lack of belief. Whatever you are thinking and feeling at this moment is right.

I'm sorry for your loss and cannot begin to comprehend the pain you've experienced. It's wonderful to hear that your wife and you, despite your very different beliefs, can love and support one another.

Sorry for your loss.

My son died a little under 2 years ago. For what it's worth, that was my first loss as a full-on atheist (my prior wife died during the late stages of my deconversion). I have to say, at least for me, it was rawer, more pure, and more cleanly worked through than the grieving I did as a believer. It bypassed all the useless "why" questions that believers usually torment themselves with: why me, why him, why now, what did he / I do wrong / to deserve this, and on and on. Now that I've truly gotten it through my head that I'm mortal and that life owes me exactly nothing and there's no McGuffin of a god who has my back, grief is much simpler for me. It's just another thing happening, in a series of things happening -- that's what we refer to colloquially as "life".

I hope you find that to be true as well.

As to signs ... well a couple days after my wife died I was sitting in the car with the radio on (which I seldom have on) and they played "our song" (Bette Midler's The Rose). I allowed myself the fiction that my wife was somehow motivating a disc jockey to play that song just for me, to comfort me, but I knew of course this wasn't the case. It was me being in a receptive state and paying attention to particular things because of what I was experiencing. Also me really needing some lingering contact with my wife and not having let go yet.

It's okay to miss your son and it's tempting to regress into beliefs you've abandoned to ease the short term pain but I'm here to tell you that on an overall basis you're better off without that.

Things I found useful in grieving, FWIW: the writings of Ernest Becker, especially, Denial of Death; the study of thanatology (the science of grief and loss). Your mileage of course may vary.

I would not wish on any parent, the need to bury their own child. You have my complete empathy and best wishes.

I'm so sorry for your loss!

Einstein showed us that all matter is a form of energy, so since energy can neither be created nor destroyed, we have always existed and will always exist in some energy form. No reason to think energy souls don't exist, and quantum physics already proves that multiple dimensions exist.

There could be reincarnation, for that matter, and there are many books of research on the subject where the details of memories of children ages 2-6 who recalled past lives were verified.

"For us believing physicists, the distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion." -Einstein.

Hope this helps. I have lost many loved ones. I tend to feel that as long as I keep my memory of them alive, inside me, I can carry them with me where ever I go, and still share special moments, views, spectacular events. (Oh, "deceased" would have loved this.)

I can also carry out small acts of kindness in a way my loved ones would have liked to have done, listen to their favorite music, etc., and for a few minutes share a sweet memory. I try to act in a way as to honor them.

Though they are physically gone, I find that if you continue to carry your memory of your special one with you internally, it helps ease the pain of not having them here, where you can touch them and converse with them externally.

SOUL never dies. Two SOULS meet in this world coz of their unsettled accounts in some previous births. SOUL only got relation with God coz it was initially part of God and than seperated and the target is to mearge with God again .