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The services for my son were held in Illinois for my x wife’s family who died two months ago. I did not attend. I wrote some thoughts that I had asked to be read at that service. Today I received the link to watch the service. As I watched I became upset that turned to anger. The service was held in a church (My X brother in law is the minister). I don’t believe my son was ever in a church, but I’ve been told differently. But my anger was because the minister decided to edit the words I wrote because he thought it wasn’t proper for the church. He’s a hypocritical asshole. I’m going to share the last memories of my son so that you all can see the hypocrisy. The paragraph when we were driving to Las Vegas was cut. Other words were changed as well. Below is what I wrote.

                                                Remembering my son Eric

Eric’s life was cut way to short. Still learning about life and all its trials he trusted to easily. As a result we lost him. We all still have the memories we made with him. Mine remain vivid in my mind.
When Eric was very young (under three) I remember him always seeking out the nearest mud puddle. He seemed so fulfilled splashing in that mini pool knowing that he might get in trouble for making such a mess. When Wesaw the result his mother and I just looked at each other and could not resist laughing. I ran for the camera while she hosed him off.
We had a pool that was about 30 feet in diameter and 24 inches deep. Eric and Jamie were playing in it one hot summer day. Their play was common for small kids, splashing each other as if they were at war. When Eric stated yelling “I’m drowning, I’m drowning” Jamie quickly ran to his aid, grabbed him by the hair and lifted him up from the water. Both were laughing hysterically. I laughed for a week.
Then there was the time we all drove to Las Vegas, my father was with us. Both Jamie and Eric were fighting as siblings often do. Eric was complaining that Jamie was looking out of his window. The car chuckled. Then in an effort to get even Eric passed gas and then yelled to her enjoy it. That one caused my father to burst out in laughter along with Peti and me.
Then I recall his early days in school. He had returned from school and was watching a movie when there was a knock on the door. It was a cute seven year old girl wearing an ear to ear smile on her face. Pete had answered the door. She asked to speak to Eric. Eric peeked from the other room to see who it was. When he saw who it was and refused to come and greet her. The little girl said to Pete, “its ok, I know, I make him nervous”. Again we laughed.
Eric used to like to come into my bed and crawl under the covers with me. But what he liked to do was stand on his knees forming a tent. So we started a game that lasted a couple of years. I would move my finger like a worm and tickle his belly. He always busted out in laughter, as did I. He came to my bed to play it often.
Then there was the time I came home from work to find every sheet, blanket and chair, in the living room used in the construction of a fairly sizeable tent. Jamie and Eric built it often.
Another time I recall when my father was visiting Jamie and Eric decided to put his hair in rollers, clips and bows. I still have pictures of that one.
Often Jamie and Eric liked to play dress up. One time Jamie dressed up Eric in a dress (which was way too big for him), high heels, Bows, lipstick and rough. Again we laughed.
His mother and I always laughed at his antics. We did that because he was funny. Today for the moment we stopped laughing, because Eric is no longer with us. As sad as that makes us we will never forget the joy and laughter he bestowed upon us. I will miss you my son, but our memories will last forever.
Good-bye my son, rest in peace.

steve148 7 Aug 3
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7 comments

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1

Steve, I am so sorry to hear your ex's family did not honor your memories. I know it was difficult for you to talk about your family, especially Eric. There was nothing in your words that was offensive. You were entitled to your thoughts and feelings. I understand your anger and hurt. Please know I am thinking of you today as a friend. Please find some peace in those childhood memories.

Thank You

2

I am so sorry for your loss. You wrote a beautiful and moving tribute about your son as a vibrant and active boy. I'm truly sorry only parts of it were shared at the service. I'm very glad we got to read all of it. Thank you for sharing your grief and caring with us. Take care of yourself as you mourn. {{hug}}

Thank you for your kind words

1

Peace to you baby. I'm here with tears feeling your grief. Grief sucks. There is no worse pain..
Allow yourself the luxury of expressing ALL your feelings. Angry with your ex's family? Shout it from the roof tops!

Pook Level 5 Aug 3, 2018

Thank you for your comment

1

I'm so sorry for your loss and for your disappointment at the funeral. That would be difficult to take..

Thank you

2

What a beautiful tribite to Eric. Love to you and yours. I can't even imagine sich a loss.

Than you so much

0

The drive to Los Vegas portion , is relatively short . While Eric was your son , and you were apparently , divorced from his Mom , and you weren't attending the service being held by her family , I'm amazed that they requested that you contribute your thoughts and included them in the service . It may not be one hundred percent of what you wanted . But it does seem to me that they did extend a hand to include you . Please be gracious .

What does " being gravious" mean.

I've always been on good terms with my X. It was my son, and there was nothing gracious about it.And right now I feel nothing but contempt

@EvaV What?

The reason it was edited was because they didn't think passing wind was acceptable in the church. That stuck up asshole

2

So very sorry for your loss. Please don't let your memories of him be overshadowed by your anger toward the minister.

I thought the service was a mockery to my son

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