I like to be wanted over needed. Prefer to date an independent woman who has her own life, beliefs, opinions, hobbies and friends. The only version of dating that seems interesting is a joining of equals.

One of the things I said to my ex not long before I made him leave was "if I gotta do it all myself, what the fuck do I need you for?" He had no answer.

Independence is attractive.

neediness = relationship death

Did you ever read Kahlil Gibran's book The Prophet. It is kinda religious, but lots of good stuff in it. On Marriage he wrote:
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

I enjoy being independent. I don't want to "need" anybody, but I love it when I can appreciate somebody. I think a lot of people feel they need to be needed, to be valuable, but I don't want to be needed, just appreciated.

Mine was the same way. He hated that I didn't need him. I think he hated how much he needed me more.

So true. How nice that someone does not need you but still wants you. Just for being you!

Independence is undervalued, despite all those who bang on about "personal
responsibility".
Being independent is the ultimate in personal responsibility.

I have no interest in "completing" anyone. Nor do I need to be "completed" by anyone else.
Be a whole person. Be able to give of your whole self, without needing to
be dependent, or even inter-dependent, and without it depleting who you are.

It takes a strong man to handle a strong woman. And the definition of a strong man is not necessarily one that takes care of her. Rather he has to be strong enough to allow her to be her own independent person.

There are still plenty of people who work well in a codependent relationship and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Men like to take care of women. Women like to take care of men. But when you have a mismatch of two people who don't have the same idea of how independent they need to be, you can't really place blame but rather try to understand and move forward together or separate with this knowledge.

A manicure on these hands would be such a wast of money.

People show love in different ways. It's not always the way the other person needs.

Some men show it by "doing" for you.
I've been thanked for letting someone "do" for me. It was rather a shock, but thinking back it's happened before. The "I'll do for you". Deeply ingrained in many men.
I'm ok with that. It's when I'm talking about something that they think THEY have to "fix" it that bothers me, when I'm just talking, or asking advice. sigh

At this very moment, while I'm reading these, I have an oldies station on, and the song "You Belong to Me" just came on.

Oh my. How it all began ...

If only...

I've had a few men that really appreciated my independence, and others that were simply befuddled by it ( "you changed your own oil" !!? ) , and possibly even disturbed by it - not feeling that they could step in and save me somehow ...

I didn't want them for that !

I don't want to be needed. I want to be wanted.

Define independent. Financially independent? Socially independent? Or emotionally independent or all?

...quality vs quantity is important
I was together 15 yrs-. first
3-4 (honeymoon)-bond to accomplish
goals 4-8then your on the same page(life paths);;or for different
aspirations ?

My ex did the same thing. When she did something, i had to go rather than leaving her to her activities

...quality vs quantity is important
I was together 15 yrs-. first
3-4 (honeymoon)-bond to accomplish
goals 4-8then your on the same page(life paths);;or for different
aspirations ?

I don’t get why saying ‘I need you’ is such a bad thing. However saying ‘you need me’ is pompous and unattractive. Still, it doesn’t stop me from actually stepping in and offering help where needed.