Why did you join this site?
Many of us, myself included, wanted to be a part of a larger discussion about the impact of some topics including religion which affect our lives. Venting is a normal part of any discussion but when it involves name calling or emotional criticism of other members it goes outside the basis for civil discourse. I have said this before that members using expletives and accolades for public figures is one thing but for other members and without a reasoned basis, it is worthless and often counterproductive. I and others have asked some members for some backing of their accusations and usually are met with silence. I believe in the adage “keep your friends close but your enemies closer”. This helps for others to recognize, first hand, that this is an issue even in agnostic.com.
I am prepared to get into some discussions that can be uncomfortable. Some members have notified me that they too want some of these debates, immigration being one such topic. I am open to constructive criticism because that is how one learns (and I also want to learn). But others have to be willing to do the same. The basis for our group should be critical thinking even if it challenges your preconceived notions (if you continue to think inside a box you will always be boxed in).
I recently got into a discussion with a posting on the Humanist site. Some things I said did not sit well with some. Here is a bit of our exchange:
RT I'm glad we've been exposed to your obviously superior intellect. How did this world survive before you came along?
AJ – to me - Ignore, ad hominem attacks.
GW That is sarcasm and a personal attack against Mr. Pedigo. Try to discuss issues, not attack people.
JP Thank you, this is a constant problem especially for those of us who believe in critical thinking
RL My mother is an “evangelical Christian” (and I was briefly in my early 20’s). Your article is well written and does highlight significant and very real issues.
1
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4 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.It's impossible to learn from someone that agrees with you and everything. Name-calling is childish and counterproductive.
Lorajay
Level 9
Jan 14, 2018
0
I disagree; I have learned a lot of details from many who agree with me. My late partner was instrumental in me becoming more of an anti-theist and I helped her become an, in-your-face, vegetarian from her former, it's only about me stand.
All I know is name calling is counter productive to good discussions. I try to use only I statements, not that it is about me but it is my opinion or thought and to go 'you' did or you that is a confrontational appoach. Just my 2 cents.
silverotter11
Level 9
Jan 13, 2018
2
My feeling exactly. Even though I messed up my 'tagging' there are still some good comments. I'm not sure but it seems the 2 rude comments opened up a bigger discussion within the Humanist site.
This sounds like a private matter between other people. It doesn't need to include the whole site. IMO.
Sarahroo29
Level 8
Jan 13, 2018
0
My take is that, if one spends enough time doing this one will get some negative responses.
I've "gotten into it" with a few members I thought were being deliberately obtuse or intellectually dishonest, so maybe he's talking about me? Who knows? But as a rule, I never resort to just being a dick unless I think the person I'm talking to has absolutely nothing of value to offer.
ChestRockfield
Level 8
Jan 13, 2018
2
I try to be as calm as possible when I reply, though sometimes it's difficult to remain levelheaded when it's a topic I feel strongly about or if I feel personally attacked. Still, being belligerent never really seems to help matters, so I avoid letting emotion get the better of me.
@resserts You are likely a better man than me. I have a limited amount of patience.
@resserts My point exactly. Sometimes we just need to agree to disagree and keep things civil.
Duke:
@JeffMurray I hope we're still good after the discussion we had on another thread. Much respect for you. I just felt that we'd both stated our points and neither was making headway so, it was time to move on.
@Duke I wasn't referring to you. We're good.
Duke:
@JeffMurray I honestly didn't think you were but,I took this opportunity to be sure there wasn't any animosity. We're all good then!
@JackPedigo I do not believe in "agree to disagree" for anything that's not a matter of preference. I've had several disagreements with extremely logical and intelligent people. Never has the discussion devolved from civility. We just discussed the matter until a resolution was reached in all but one case. (However, that case was a discussion about the implications of a theoretical device that could intercept all sensory input from your neural pathways and replace it with other sensory information designated by a third party, so I don't think that counts as a failure on our part.)
@JeffMurray I have a past 'woman friend' and we disagreed on a variety of subjects. I saw her as a "bleeding Heart' liberal and she agreed. In the end we know how each of us feels and are still great friends after 20 years. When I visit we still get into our discussions when on a hike. Her husband walks ahead because he doesn't like politics. We are at the point we just laugh it off. It has become a game for us.
@JackPedigo I fail to see the point you were trying to make, but congratulations on having friends to go on hikes with I guess?
@JeffMurray I was just adding to the agree to disagree point of yours. Sometimes our disagreements cannot be reconciled and we just have to accept that within reason. She is a Quaker and invited me to a meeting. It turned out pleasant with no proselytizing involved.
@JackPedigo For the rational and intelligent they can be, again, provided they are not a matter of preference.
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