Forcing your children to "love" others is a Christian concept and one I deeply resented when growing up in a religious family. Nobody has a right to dictate your feelings.

Instead, teach them to just be respectful of others, and how to react when confronted.

My own highly effective solution is to ignore religious wing nuts, or look bored, mumble "Um-hum" in a distracted manner, then look at my watch and LEAVE when someone starts in on me. If you don't give them any attention when they talk religion, they soon give up.
Nobody enjoys being ignored.

Only smile and look at them when they speak on neutral subjects and are showing respect and kindness. This behaviorist technique quickly trains people to treat you right.

It’s been awhile, mine are young adults now.. But back in the day, I volunteered at their school. I’ll assume few have time for that … but try something that gets you around both their peers ..and the peers parents.

Mine were ‘singled out’ early, kindergarden.. Instead of a ‘red & green’ paper chain counting the days to ‘christ-mass,’ mine had white & blue links counting down the days to the Winter Solstice At an early age, they felt comfortable ‘explaining that,’ so as they progressed through the grades ..their ‘friends’ took it as normal.

Find those ‘soccer parents,’ usually the educated, non-judgemental ones to hang around with. Do back your kids up.. Though my parents weren’t religious, it seemed every time I’d need a conference with the teacher ..for not ‘getting with the program,’ my parents always sided with Authority

What eventually happened with my two were their friends confiding all kinds of stuff to them, because they could be trusted - and weren’t the judgemental backstabbers most religious kids seemed to be. By high school, they were looked up to.. Still are; there’s hope ~

I raised my kids in Washington State, which is one of the more secular states, but still has a majority of religiously minded citizens and teachers. When my kids were in school, as long as religion wasn't mentioned, it was all good. However, my daughter, who made it known she didn't believe in God, was made to stand outside every morning while the pledge of allegiance was said. That ostracized her right there. Still she was a happy and fair minded girl and in middle school was elected president of the student body.

One day, when she had the microphone (MC'ing a talent show) and leading the pledge of allegiance, she was noticeably silent during the "under god" part. That prompted a friend of hers (with religious parents) to circulate a petition to impeach her. That didn't go very far. I was called in to the principal's office to discuss... I raised a few issues the school was guilty of ex: favoring Christianity over Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, etc., by having songs in various holiday presentations exhalting the trinity, excluding the students of various other faiths an no faith. I guess I made sense to the principal, as my daughter retained her position and was still well liked by the majority of the student body.

So, my advice is just to stand strong, if you feel like fighting, or stay silent, like my son did, who didn't make any waves, just silently skipped the "under god" part of the pledge, and kept to the shadows for the most part.

If your kids are honest, kind, sharing, empathetic, responsible and all those good things, and stick up for the rights of others, hopefully they will be shown respect for their secular beliefs or humanistic stance. Maybe rather than let the focus be on the fact they don't attend church, focus on the ethical teaching they are receiving instead.

My daughter used to tell parents who questioned which church she attended with the response that she was "home churched" which made me smile. While others were in church, we indeed talked about issues and how to handle them, but found it funny that was her response to questions.

I have one “Christian” daughter and one agnostic. My husband and I are atheist. My kids are 14 and 16.
It’s a challenge. I taught my girls to be respectful of others. When others are praying, at a friends house, funeral, wedding they are expected to be quiet and respectful.

When they were younger we really didn’t talk about religion. To my knowledge no one ever questioned why they didn’t go to church.
We live in SW VA.