Unless you're clergy, I don't know why people, other than your children, would ask you that.

"I don't have the words I'm feeling for your loss."

I just smile and say sorry for your loss!

For sure, if people find solace in some sort of belief then who am I to piss on their parade. I wouldn't be so keen on the idea of people roping me into some religious mumbo jumbo after I've shuffled off this mortal coil but there's not a whole bunch I can do about it.

I think that, especially in times of grief and loss, kindness in words and actions is FAR more important than touting your belief (or non-belief). In speaking to them in ways they can understand, you are helping comfort them - which is just being kind.

Always go with what is kind; it doesn't harm you, and helps those in need.

I often say something like "If there's a heaven, I feel sure your loved one is there." I think this often works because these bereaved believers don't question whether there is a heaven; rather, they just want assurance that that is where their loved one went.

That is the kind thing to do in a difficult time. I don't give people my views unless asked anyway. That is what I expect from them. I can't very well complain about them proselytizing me if I do the same to them.

I think that is a good way to skirt the issue.

The time to bring up belief or non-belief is not when people are grieving.

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

If I'm asked directly about whether I believe in heaven, I'll answer truthfully that I do not. I can't lie about that.
If it's expressed that someone else believes in it, I will not dispute them.
That's the best I can do for anyone, grieving or otherwise.
I'm not going to lie to you, even to make you feel better.
I just can't do it.