The best self help there is!

I would question the idea that our inner selves don’t change. Depending our age at the start of the relationship, they can change dramatically, at times faster and more pronounced than the outward changes. If the couple change in opposite directions, chances are the conflict will cause a chasm too deep to sustain.

@Barnie2years I didn’t mean that we don’t change our ideas or opinions over the years. It would be strange if they remained static throughout our lives. What I meant was that inner self that guides our actions, our moral compass if you like, the essence of who we are. The main reason couples drift apart is not changing views but apathy, couples who discuss their differences can survive successfully those who don’t communicate their changing viewpoints with their partners usually drift apart.

In my younger years, it was always a learning curve. In fact, it still is.

@mistymoon77 I've found that you don't often know until you've lived with someone for a while. I'm great at making bad decisions!

@AstralSmoke yes I totally agree, and we all have made some bad decisions, the goal is not to keep repeating them.

@mistymoon77 Yes, sometimes I'm on the verge of insanity, believing the outcome will be different even though I do the same thing .

@mistymoon77, @ProudMary If they don't know you or your partner, then their remarks aren't worth listening to.