No..just no

I have some guidelines I tend to follow - I feel for the first meet it's best to do something neutral that cost nothing - say a walk, a museum or something. Later if it continues, the one who invites can pay. And if you wish to go dutch, agree beforehand to eliminate those awkward moments !

As a gay man, generally it is assumed in the gay datign world, that the check is split, unless someoen says otherwise beforehand.

How exactly would that conversation go over during a date? "So, here's the bill. Now, Alex -- what was your NET income over the last year. Oh? You don't say. Well, mine was about $20,000 less than that. So, the way I see it, you owe $57.60 for this meal and it looks like I owe $41.30. Does that sound about right to you?"

I would absolutely offer and be prepared to split the bill and would offer my card. If my date insisted on paying, I would oblige. But, after a couple dates, if I am interested in and plan to keep seeing the person, I would not oblige every time and they would have to let me share the costs.

Now, if my date was rolling in dough and money was NEVER an issue under any circumstances, I'd let them have more of the checks if they wanted them. But, if I'm out with somebody in a similar economic boat, I'm going to participate in paying.

As a gay man, that's the one advantage we've always had... it was either, for ourselves, or take turns, or sometimes one of us paid just because... but there were no expectations going in... The same goes with who does the dishes, cleans the table, vacuums (although I would do almost anything to get out of vacuuming). But wear each other's shoes without asking? That would always end badly.