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60/40
I read somewhere that most relationships are 60/40 not 50/50 on give/take

Do you believe this?
Do you think it fluctuates?
Are you more of the 60 (giver) or 40 ( taker)?
Be honest, no judgement.

Crimson67 8 Aug 26
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8 comments

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0

This is about context. Giving and taking what, exactly? There is the possibility of one partner exploiting the other but to pin it to a ratio seems simplistic to me.

0

I would say depending on the circumstances one party will give more than the other but in average that has to swing both ways to get the right balance

0

I think it fluctuates - depending on a lot of issues that also tend to fluctuate over time (i.e. - who's putting in the most hours at work, etc). When I was a stay at home mom, I did a lot more than my 50% - as is the case now that I'm the one fully retired. If you find yourself "keeping score" - you just might have bigger issues than what percentage you give/take....???

@Crimson67 Yes, I get what you're saying about the emotional side of things and I do think that even that fluctuates over time....there are times when you feel closer to your partner than at some other times. Just a part of the human condition, I think. Most couples that I personally know have seen their own percentages/ratios change - back and forth - over many years.

0

I think there is mostly the dominant partner

0

My last relationship was more like a 70/10. You might say "that doesn't equal 100%". My reply is that's why the relationship is over.

1

I think that is fairly accurate. I believe you should always aim for the 50/50 but it can fluctuate and you should be flexible. In a nearly 30 marriage there were times I couldn't do my 50% and my husband picked up the slack until I was able to do my part. A few years later the reverse occurred. We can't always be on our A game and part of a partnership is picking up the slack when our partner needs it.

0

That was the financial settlement my second ex wanted, with her getting the 60%, even though we would have had nothing to settle if I hadn’t been putting money away. Final accord was pretty close to 55/45

0

I can't attest for "most" but for me those years were represented a 90,10 not healthy mix. Never again under those ratios.

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