That a dairy allergy includes egg. As I pointed out if a cow lays an egg or you can milk a chicken then I'll stand corrected

I have always liked the "brain storm" technique where one of the premises is "there is no such thing as stupid idea" and the logic behind it is, it may seem stupid at the time but that idea my trigger thoughts in someone else that may lead into something

A girl once told me she wants to go to China, I told her she needs to get a Visa. She replied, Oh yea my mom got one of those she bought these shoes for me with hers

“Where does the water go when you blow dry your hair?”
That got a side eye from me!

This one requires some setup unless one is familiar with the seasons in Duluth, Minnesota. In Duluth, winter lasts for about nine months. It's not unheard of to see snow on the ground in July. This person had lived in the area for many years. But she said, 'Turn off the heat, it's April and that means it's spring.'

How about 99.9% of the things that come out of President Trump's mouth

I was putting things on a CD for my Dad one day. I know he's not tech savvy, but I almost lost it when he kept asking me, "When do you pause the recording?" I didn't want to hurt his feelings by laughing in his face, but it took all I had not to do so. Like I said, he's not very tech savvy.

My stupid stepfather told me there are no crocodiles in Australia.

My boss while installing a light fixture on a garage. He kept getting shocked a little by the wires, so he told me "all you have to do is pinch these wires together with your fingers and it will trip the breaker. Unless its hardwired, but no one does that" he pinched the wires with his bare hands. It was hardwired. Blew him right off the plank and onto the ground twitching.
Next in line for stupid things I have heard, "how bad can trump be as president? At least it's not Clinton." that one still leaves my speechless.

My last marriage was going down the tubes while I was stationed overseas and things were down to purely the logistics of getting her & the kids back to the states. Her boyfriend fell I'll and she wanted me to stay home with the kids so she could take him to get help. I get it: men & women's brains work differently, so I had to ask her, "You want me to call my commanding officer and tell him that I need to stay home with the kids so my wife can take her boyfriend to the hospital?" Yeah, I went to work, leaving her to process that one. Found out she pawned the kids off on the neighbor.

Young neighbor , who was a drug user , once told me, he told his girlfriend , he loved her more than his own asshole . How in any way shape or form , is that supposed to be romantic ?

"You can be anything you want."

Trump is a successful business man