Today has been a weird ole day. I have had scammer/whack noodle heathen who I think is the head of a cult sent me messages of his love, and another who is is twatsore and glad we didn't consummate some imaginary love connection that existed only in his head, because I would have been a horrible person to be with. I think there's something in the water...
Try wine. Or weed if you'd rather not have the calories.
You should probably find Captain Stubing and let him know you need off at the next port.