I LEARNED SOMETHING FROM TRUMP -

I think there's actually something of value to be learned from president f-ckhead. The man has an amazing capacity to revel in the glory of fabulous accomplishments that aren't real.

• He gives himself an A+ for his performance as president.
• He says he did a fabulous job in Puerto Rico.
• He credits himself for any momentary uptick in the economy or the stock market as proof of his unrivaled business prowess.
• He proclaims himself the most popular republican president in history with the "possible" exception of Lincoln.
• He constantly claims "No one is more (add virtue here) than I am."
• He calls himself a stable genius.

This list can go on and on. He's a total disaster as both a president and a human being but to hear him tell it, he's awesomeness personified at everything he does.

We should all start doing this. Can you imagine how easy this will make it for everyone to go from being an average schlub to a superhero?

• I mow my lawn so great, people gather around to watch and take pictures.
• No one fills their gas tank like I do. People ask for my advice on how they can fill their tanks like I do.
• Women fall to their knees in admiration of me while I shop at the supermarket. They beg me to have my baby.
• I mail a letter with with the grace of a ballet dancer.

This is simple! I'm awesome!!!!!

- Sgt. Spanky
Drop and give me 20