Were you being ironic or humorous @Cast1es? Since no one size fits all, communication is the only way to really know if disinterest has become a norm in a relationship.

However, the science says that women generally are not actually less interested in sex, but are interested in different sensual experiences and different ways of being satisfied.

This article, which i found to be consistent with accepted theories says that "..the ways that women experience and express their sexuality are often very different from their male partners." What do you think?

[psychologytoday.com]

@josephr Your article hit a LOT of very valid points ! And it's correct in that it isn't as much of a lack of interest in sex , but has more to do with being too physically exhausted , being concerned about responsibilities , the length of time needed , the methods used , the feelings at the time , etc . But in the end , your article still shows men are more enthuseastic about getting it on , in general .

Good morning, @Cast1es , and thanks. My take is that generally, women are more interested in love and loving, and men more obsessed with sex, often as proof of love. But it is hard to generalize, and often misleading. Cheers.

@josephr Yes, I agree 98.5 % . I also feel , for women , it's more about the emotions . For men it seems to be more about the physical aspect , although , I don't think men are interested in it as proof of love . They are , after all , willing to pay prostitutes for sex , most certainly without needing or requiring love . Prostitutes are a limited portion of the population , and are doing it strickly for the money .

@Cast1es I agree, the physical for many men is not separated from the loving. It's important to note that not all men fall into the category, just as many women have adopted what has been considered naturally male tendencies.

The key is that as our populations explode, the diversity also increases, so assumptions become less and less accurate.

Humans often have the ability to divert themselves from reality, so many men can convince themselves that prostitutes do it for money, but in the moment of passion, love and sex become one and the fact that they are paying becomes irrelevant. I have also heard many men question whether there is a difference between a woman who has sex with a man for money, and one who has sex with a man to ensure security or some other intrinsic or instrumental need.

I wrote a story more than a few years ago when on-line dating was an exploding phenomenon, and while interviewing, i heard several interviewees of both genders tell me that many of the people they had met on-line were looking for a nurse or a purse, even if sex seemed to be their overt objective. They saw the sex as a hook. They had linked love and sex with some form of payment, whatever commodity or need they were trying to satisfy.

Nothing is simple when when it comes to understanding humans, whether it's about love, or sex, or security, or anything. We can explain behaviours, often accurately, but we can rarely predict them.

@josephr I think , for me , at least , and for others I've spoken with , sex with love , is not the same as sex with some kind of lubricant , because you don't want to be with the particular person , marriage or not . When the feelings are gone , no matter what the money situation , forcing yourself to have sex , only teaches you how to hate sex , and resent the other person .

@Cast1es Yes, i totally agree. Especially your last thought. Being forced or forcing oneself to have sex would be equally repugnant and impossible for me.