Agnostic.com

9 2

Question. I have different fetishes. How do I bring it up in conversation?

Prhjr 5 Sep 16
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

9 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

There is a group called sexual deviants here that you might check out.

I did post it there. I posted it here because of a newbie mistake but thanks tho.

@Prhjr no mistake, this is a good place for it too, get as many takes as you can yo.

2

you just did 🙂)

but i think it doesn't need to come up in conversation until it becomes applicable to the situation or is about to be, or could potentially be. it depends on what the fetish is. if it's something that applies only during sex, you might want to wait until you have both agreed, implicitly or explicitly, that you're going to have sex. if it's a shoe fetish, you may want to mention that earlier.

g

No shoe fetish. Lol. I'm just sexually open to anything long as it is only between my partner and I but I like going to swingers places because I also enjoy being watched with no touch or taking suggestions from others and perform for them.

@PaulHorton i think you need not bring it up (unless the topic drifts that way) unless it looks as if there will be a physical relationship. then i'd just say it like you just did to us. simple, straight, clear 🙂)

g

1

I have brought up such things myself, when it became obvious that the relationship was approaching the intimacy stage - whenever that might occur. Kind of like " I'll show you mine , if you show me yours " - both literally and figuratively !

When I was younger I didn't mind wasting time on on such things. Now I don't want to waste my time on something that may not work out. Just saying.

@PaulHorton Catch 22, as it's difficult to know whether or not a connection will work out, without taking some time to explore basic compatibilities. And even then - when all systems are a go, things still might not work out ! No guarantees anywhere ...

@evergreen
You bring up a good point. Maybe I'm looking for guarantees and that's not feasible. Being younger you are exploring your sexuality so you weren't looking for guarantees but you get older you know what you like and I think it is a little harder to approach.

@PaulHorton That's kind of the complication of having been around longer than some - we're less tolerant of bullshit, more decisive about what we want, and thus, our field of prospects has lessened - requiring a more difficult search. Not impossible though ...

1

I would probably start by asking the other person to describe their kinks and fetishes.

Ok I'm asking you. Lol. I'm think it needs to be addressed by the first or second date not including the first meet.

2

Join "Sexual Deviants" Group here at agnostic.com you will get all the advice you need

I will do that beautiful. Thanks

@PaulHorton you're welcome

1

Definitely by the time you have the pregnancy/ std talk if it's essential to your sexuality, it's ungentlemanly to just spring stuff on people. I'm pretty kinky and been pleasantly surprised at my reception. It's really not different than other aspects of yourself you reveal, start slow and watch their reaction, be positive we tend to attract people like ourselves and they read more than we think we are revealing.

Good answer. I can't get anyone pregnant but I do have to be careful of STDs

1

Cautiously!

3

With a prospective lover, I presume. First off, are these fetishes or kinky turn-ons? The right language is important because someone may be OK with kink but fearful of a fetish. For example, lots of people find the feel of silk sexy and enjoy wearing or having a partner wear silk lingerie. It would a fetish if arousal/orgasm couldn’t happen without a sexual focus on the fabric itself. Once you are clear on the difference, here’s a good article with some tips for talking about what you like and need. [refinery29.com]

UUNJ Level 8 Sep 16, 2018

@Spudnut There area some folks who get off on the feeling of squishing a balloon against another person until it bursts, and others who get off in the Latex itself. Any behavior is only a problem if it controls a person’s daily life and relationships. If someone can’t hear “50 square foot room” without getting turned on, therapy is in order to help the person manage that impulse. There’s nothing shameful about getting that help.

I'm just sexually open to anything long as it is only between my partner and I but I like going to swingers places because I also enjoy being watched with no touch or taking suggestions from others and perform for them.

@PaulHorton No judgments here.

0

I'm asking the question

Prhjr Level 5 Sep 16, 2018
Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:180074
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.