I have never felt like I "fit in" or was in sync with most people and institutions. One way that can manifest is in being a rebel, but that's not my basic nature to be overtly raining on everyone's parade. I'm more the guy who mops up after everyone else screws something up. And get paid good $$ to do it. I just keep plugging along, shaking my head and doing my best.

Age 10 in catholic school i was a radical.

Everyday.

I cannot remember ever being anything else but defiant. Even to this day I will fight against anything that says I have to conform.

Most likey from the time of my birth. I've always been the odd duck in the bunch.

My story is sort of long, hope it's okay to put here.

I was raised to be extremely Catholic, though I'm not completely sure I'm capable of real belief. Regardless, went to a Catholic grade school, and went to "CCD" - Catholic Catechism D... Actually I forget exactly what it stands for, but you get the point.

I randomly got a teacher who was slightly dyslexic at Sunday school in my last year. He was trying to explain how Christianity was initially based on heresy, as in being different from the more predominant belief system of the time. What he read and said, however, was hearsay. I knew what he meant, but my mind started racing as I realized what the implications were, and that what he said might have been more accurate than what he intended. That's when it dawned on me, and me and a small cadre of close friends gave up on religion shortly thereafter.

It wasn't until I was much older that I found out my particular brand of atheism was very different from the standard as well. I care deeply about trying to know, with logical certainty, that what I believe is true, and I take everything I know to be true until and unless further evidence to counter it is provided. This led me down the path of studying philosophy and reading books on the subject, and trying to rigorously defend my naturalist worldview from the arguments of theists. As such, I've published papers on the subject and delivered talks to societies whose purpose is to provide arguments against (but not proselytize against) theism.

This, I've found, is in stark contrast to more mainstream atheists who are perfectly capable of being happy by looking no further than the tips of their noses. I envy those who can be so confident without studying that they can assert supreme knowledge of the subject, but it's very different in my world, where knowing the truth matters, and knowing how to know the truth matters as much or even more. I know I sound pretentious, but that's not my intent: I'm genuinely envious. I've spent so many hours doing this research and studying and challenging myself that, if I'd focused on my actual life goals in the intervening times instead, I would likely be rich and able to retire early.

do you mean as regards religious choices? or perhaps political choices? or something else like being anti-natalist or vegan?

Most of my ideals are not yet mainstream. But, they will be someday -- I've seen them all become increasingly popular to the point where they are the fastest growing segments of society --- from Atheism to Veganism and from being Childfree by Choice to being Libertarian.

I was just ahead of my time. The world will catch up.