Au contraire; we make our own happiness.

Physics indicates that we are participating in creating our own universes/reality.

“Consciousness is fundamental, and matter is derived from consciousness." – Max Planck, theoretical physicist who originated quantum theory, 1918 Nobel Prize in Physics

Quote:

“A fundamental conclusion of the new physics also acknowledges that the observer creates the reality. As observers, we are personally involved with the creation of our own reality. Physicists are being forced to admit that the universe is a “mental” construction.

Pioneering physicist Sir James Jeans wrote: “The stream of knowledge is heading toward a non-mechanical reality; the universe begins to look more like a great thought than like a great machine. Mind no longer appears to be an accidental intruder into the realm of matter, we ought rather hail it as the creator and governor of the realm of matter.

Get over it, and accept the inarguable conclusion. The universe is immaterial-mental and spiritual.” – R.C. Henry, Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Johns Hopkins University , “The Mental Universe” ; Nature

I guess I see it through different eyes. I am in sales and part of my job is setting and managing expectations. Yes, this can be done in a manipulative manner.... But also in a loving, caring manner. (Or, in a business manner as I do.) It is all in the approach.

Showing the other(s) what is in it for them is helpful.

I believe managing your own expectations is one of the bases of Buddhism. I agree that we can't manage the expectations of others although we can be as straightforward and clear in our communications as possible. But they'll respond as they will.

I can manage my own expectations. I'm not sure how one would go about managing the expectations of others, though. Wouldn't that be rather manipulative?