Just found out my only "non-religious" friend believes in reincarnation, even to the extent that she thinks she has been reincarnated. I am still shocked. How do you respond to that? Think I would take Pentacostal better...?
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Reincarnation does not work with math. The number of people alive at a given time has varied by a factor of half a million or so. Maybe a holding pen for the souls that are waiting? I know I have never been a woman in a previous life. I would remember having boobs.
ThisGuy
Level 6
Sep 28, 2018
1
I respond by compassionately and fair-mindedly tuning into 1) how she treats me and 2) how she treats others--and judiciously reserve judgment on everything else. By "judiciously reserve judgment" I do not mean "ignore"; I mean "consider fairly any assignment of value, if and when appropriate".
If she's competent and rational by all other indications, I would not assign much value to this admission. If, OTOH, she does something like using a "past life" as an excuse for shitty behavior, I'd give it value commensurate with the shittiness of the behavior--and probably peg her as an excuse-making person of low integrity. If she claims to have been Cleopatra in a past life, I'd probably peg her as likely over-fond of fantasy and seeking attention. I'm compassionate, but I have an eagle-eye for behavior and an analytical mind and no compunction using either.
Unforunately necessary disclaimer: I do not condemn or look down on you for asking this question, or you or anyone else for however the issue is or would be considered or addressed. Everyone is where they're at--and it's not my place to say this or that is "better".
stinkeye_a
Level 8
Sep 27, 2018
1
Could there be a reason for it? Maybe your friend has a huge fear of death and this might be there way with dealing with it.
MetalMelissa
Level 5
Sep 27, 2018
0
Could be. Just caught me off-guard. Both of our father-in-laws are preachers so we are inundated with religion and have discussed how crazy organized religion is several times...I know the concept is different but to me equally strange
Ask how the mechanism works.
Zippypinhead57
Level 5
Sep 27, 2018
0
Not certain I'm ready to go there yet...
it is not necessary to debate every controversial issue with every friend. if she isn't voting for trump and she isn't committing crimes, and she brings it up, tell her with a smile you think this reincarnation thing is silly and you'd rather go get a bite to eat, or see a movie, or play scrabble. if she insists on talking about it all the time, that's different.
g
genessa
Level 8
Sep 27, 2018
1
I always treat such claims by asking for any detail they remember from their past life/lives that could be verified but that they could not have already known from information gained in their current life. There never is any. They just get angry, which is all the confirmation I need.
Gareth
Level 7
Sep 28, 2018
0
yep too many was a leader in the renascence. All of them the same person.
Not being confrontational or judging you, but so what? You just seem really bothered by it. Does it make your friend treat you less kindly? It's not like they are a serial killer or rapist. You don't have to be religious to believe in reincarnation either. I'm sure some atheists or agnostics believe it too. It can be philosophical and not religious.
Piece2YourPuzzle
Level 8
Sep 27, 2018
0
Wow. All I said was that is was surprising. This forum is very hostile. I don't understand why it is unrealistic for me to be bothered by the fact that the only person I have ever known who I have been able to discuss my religious views with believes she has had multiple past lives. Is she a cat?
I live in East Tennessee, man. If you tell anyone you don't go to church on the reg, you may just find yourself hanging from a tall oak tree...just sayin...
Why the hostility?
@PraiseXenu No, it does not turn someone into a bumbling idiot in every other part of their life. I'm saying this one belief is not an extreme into how that person will treat you. It doesn't change everything else that the OP has known about the friend. It's not like she found out she has a string of murders in her past or a history of robbery and assault or whatever it might be. If you want to judge an entire person's character or existence on whether or not they believe in reincarnation, then knock yourself out. Maybe that person is thinking the same about you for your judgment on her seemingly unimportant belief. People act as if someone who believes in reincarnation said they believe that they must torture 1 person a day to keep the demons away from them.
@PraiseXenu It's pretty much what you said.
"it throws the persons ability to think, reason and understand their world into question"
That's your quote, not mine. It might be my interpretation of it, but I think a fair number of people in here would interpret it in the same way. Someone who we believe is having a hard time thinking, reasoning, and understanding things is pretty much an idiot as per the definition of idiot or a "mentally handicapped person".
Bringing up what I said is not a strawman. If I found out my friend was a serial killer then I would distance myself from them and call the police to report them. I don't do the same when I find out they believe there is a God or that they believe in reincarnation. Murder is an extreme where I think it would be justified to be so upset and shocked and then distancing yourself from them is a reasonable action and thought process. I don't find believing in reincarnation to be extreme enough for a functioning relationship to disintegrate based on it being practical to my well being or not. It's not a belief that destroys practicality.
I have experienced and seen this type of judgment before and it's from theists when they find out someone is an atheist or agnostic. They believe that we have no capability of having morals or that we can believe in anything that can give us a strong foundation etc. It's equally ridiculous.
@Georgia323 You said you were shocked and would take it better had she said she was Pentecostal. So you are saying you'd rather it had been she spoke in tongues and performs exorcism? That's what Pentecostal is. It is reason enough for people to believe it's more than just surprising to you. Like I said, I didn't give my opinion to be confrontational or "hostile". You gave your opinion and I gave mine. What was so hostile in my response to your post? And what does living where you live have to do with anything?
@Georgia323 I too am among the same mindset as you. I find it difficult to understand why someone would jump from one unreasonable fantasy belief to another. I also know that you were kidding, sorta.
If you are agnostic or atheist persuasion, you are a critical thinker. That probably means you aren't just going to believe something without evidence. It probably also means that you have been silenced. You don't dare speak because people are more than judgmental they're prejudiced against you and probably violent.
This place should be a place where you can air criticism of weakly supported ideas and beliefs.
"That's interesting. Tell me more...."
UpsideDownAgain
Level 7
Sep 27, 2018
0
david75090
Level 7
Sep 27, 2018
0
She does have a religion .
Pralina1
Level 9
Sep 27, 2018
0
Yeah after 17 yrs of friendship I get that now...just found this out.
I'll be your friend, just so you can say not all of your friends have dried and hardened shit rattling around in their head instead of brains.
stinklizard
Level 5
Sep 27, 2018
0
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