I have many dear (church-going) friends. So I tell them that every Sunday morning I attend SAINT MATTRESS church. It is located on the corner of Pillow and Blanket Streets. QUIET services. My pastor is FATHER SLUMBER.
(feel free to use this and attend my church 
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.If pressed for the name of my church I have two ready answers "Our Lady of Perpetual Motion" and "The "Church Of My Own Bad Self". I have even told people that I already gave money there if asked for a donation.
If someone attempts to hand me tracts/ literature, I like to say "I'm sorry, but my religion forbids me from coming into contact with printed material".
It seems like religious folks tend to buy ANYTHING no matter how crazy as long as it's couched in some kind of "religious" belief.
k80b619
Level 5
Sep 27, 2018
2
I avoid all church-going people.
And I'm up at 4:30 AM on Sunday, as I am every other day.
birdingnut
Level 8
Sep 27, 2018
0
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