I held my papa in my arms when he died suddenly and traumatically. Three months later I saw my biological papa dying in the hospital of the same thing. Two months ago my uncle died of the same thing.
I have PTSD. I have nightmares. I have flash backs. I have severe trauma.
Yesterday my dad's dad, my third grandpa decided to stop dialysis after a major heart attack.
We just moved him to hospice last night. My grandma and uncles are struggling hard.
And I had to keep it together for my family. Watching my grandpa die just like the last three. I am in so much pain and I'm suffering through all this trauma with a fucking smile on my face so that my family can focus on grandpa.
I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it
6
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7 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.My heart goes out to you. I went through having my father in law in the hospice, he was there for a week. It was hard as some of the family were real jerks, but things there were great given the circumstances. Never saw a person pass before, it was life changing. Sorry you have to go through this, but it is a part of life. Which says nothing that can actually help you.
dalefvictor
Level 8
Sep 28, 2018
0
I know that it is little solace, but remember the good times and in time, the painful memories will pass. Very sorry for your losses.
FaithInOneself
Level 4
Sep 27, 2018
0
I am so, so sorry for your losses. Hugs to you.
OpposingOpposum
Level 9
Sep 27, 2018
0
I'm so sorry to hear, you've had a really rough time of it. ? Sending hugs and wishes peace, comfort and healing. Please know that you don't actually have to act strong. It's ok to show vulnerability, to express grief.
AdorkableMe
Level 7
Sep 27, 2018
0
That's utterly shit. Sending strength and endurance-y vibes in your direction.
MrBeelzeebubbles
Level 7
Sep 27, 2018
1
I'm sorry for your grief and hope you will be able to cope soon. Without death there is very little point in living. We must all face this problem sooner or later, take some solice in the fact that they did not die alone, and have some people who will miss them.
Bangkokbob
Level 6
Sep 27, 2018
0
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