I never stopped believing. ♥

Call me a romantic but I still believe in love.

Timely question for me as recent life events have forced a reevaluation of the notion of "traditional" love expressed in popular culture.. and I include the writing of Shakespeare in that pop culture influence. I agree that personal experience drives our perceptions.

Through various decisions, choices and circumstances I was lucky enough to have children in my early to mid 40's. Better late than never. Unfortunately, my parenting partner, who is 12 years younger than I am saw me getting ready to retire just as she is starting a new career. She saw me suddenly as getting old where she is still "young" (comparatively). In a nutshell she felt ( her words) a mid-life crisis and needed to find the fulfillment she feels she would be missing out on if she continued on the path together.

So.. with that little bit of back story..

As I move away from the notion of a secure relationship after 17 years I find that I no longer hold that feeling or maybe more accurately, expectation,of being with that "one true love" whom I have shared the traditional.. have kids, buy the house, plan for the future and grow old together.. picture of love.

Don't know what it's turning into yet.. but always happy to embrace change..for sure scary to be 57 and suddenly a single parent to two teen boys.. but necessary to grow! And frankly.. what's happening to me has become the new norm for many.

Maybe books, movies and music will start reflecting my reality.

I don't remember the exact age, but it definitely comes with experience. I always come back to a quote in a song (ironic?) about this topic. It's from "End of the Innocence" by Don Henley and Bruce Hornsby. It goes, "When "happily ever after" fails, and we've been poisoned by these fairy tales".

I've maybe been in love once. And that's a maybe. And it got to the point where it was never going to work, so I tore the bandaid off. I'm not sure that I am cut out for love stuff. I am perfectly content being alone most of the time. I will never be able to deal with someone in my face 24/7 so maybe I should just marry myself. Lol

I haven't, as I've been fortunate enough to have experienced that very kind of love - more than once !

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return

I do not think there ever was just one kind of love, even in music films, etc., the secret of making it work is not to expect too much before hand, and to understand that not everyone is going to get a great big romance every time. But that is true of everything in life, and it is also true that the media as a whole falsely raise our expectations of everything in life, if we measure any part of our lives against the fairy-tales used by those who are trying to sell us something then we will always be disappointed

Aeons and ages and thingee ago. And I keep getting shown that it's not a thing no matter how much I want it to be.

your body just makes you a temporary addict to all the feel good chemicals it pumps out in the initial stages then we add words to justify it

I focused on the "as perpetuated..." part of the question...I think my love looks different than "as perpetuated..."...

Why stop?

Love is somthing you create, you hope the other person is also creating it. I think it’s increasingly rare, I found it for a time in a place I wasn’t looking... I’ve had long relationships and a long marriage that all aspired to love... When it came the relationship was brief but the has lasted. No age as it requires chemistry and effort.

I imagine that you're referring to the overarching concept of "romantic love" in which one finds "The One" and lives "happily ever after". Boy, that didn't last long for me, as my first wife (as often happens in late teens / early twenties if it's going to happen) descended into severe mental illness, for all I know in response to getting married when we were both 19. Of course getting married that young was a dumb idea in its own right, but leaving that aside ...

Romantic love is an idea nearly as persistent, for those who succumb to it, as is theism. I have often said that after leaving theism I spent the better part of the next decade prying theistic thinking and expectations out of my head with a crowbar. But I also had to do the same thing with romantic love, and in some ways, it took alot longer. I would say the last of my romantic illusions took its last stubborn breath about a decade ago.

My whole identity that cemented by the time I passed out of childhood was that I had a heavenly father who, among other things, wanted me to meet and marry and stay married to (and, of course happily married) that one woman he had prepared specifically for me as a small part of his Plan.

In retrospect, I think that fevered thinking around marriage, combined with sexual repression, may be the main thing that holds young people in Christian fundamentalism (and, doubtless, Islamic fundamentalism). What else is there that's powerfully compelling in their barren and nihilistic ideology, after all? If you're going to deny a huge part of your acolyte's humanity (their sexuality) then its power lies in dangling in front of them the only and highly constrained option for expressing it -- in an allegedly god-ordained marriage. Once that turns out to be not so great, you have the divorce taboo plus the vision of parenthood to keep things slogging along.

what is traditional love? i can't find just one kind of love portrayed in music and movies? i don't even think there is one kind of mainstream society, much less one kind of love in it. since i am in love with the guy i've been with for 18 years, i suppose i have to believe in love. is it like the movies? well, no, but what is? is it the only possible manifestation of love? of course not. so i can't answer the question properly because i don't buy the premise of the question to begin with.

g

I definitely believe, had it before and will have it again.. it’s just when??