I agree that online dating feels futile. But I disagree that it's just men who are putting in a lot of effort only to receive a low response rate, women are also trapped in this mesh of deceit. Online sites are set-up to get as many members as possible and to get them to pay. So, as a result, some members pay while others don't. When you send an email to a non-paying member, they might receive it but will not have the ability to respond unless they become a paying member. The message sender waits and waits with no response and soon gives up and moves on. When this happens, the message sender gets frustrated and disgusted while wondering why he / she is getting null responses. I know this sounds awful, but it is true. There are other variables that need to be considered but this is the major obstacle that we all encounter. Other variables include, distance, ethnicity, level of education, religion, and age. It is also very hard to determine what a person is really like from profile pictures and short biographies. This is firsthand information coming from an attractive 62-year old, Latina with a doctorate, who lives on a peninsula inhabited by religious fanatics and republicans. Where have all the good men gone? Well, they certainly don't live on this peninsula. Lol!

My experiences have been much the same. I look for genuine people who really want a relationship and those that mirror you are ones I would question. Also some ask your measurements lol! Imagine me asking theirs!. Online dating has been ruined as often too easily there are women and men just looking for sex online that most certainly is not for me..

I dislike most dating sites. It seems like 90% of people are just looking for a hook up and the others just come on to strong. I prefer forming friendships with people and eventually, if there is a desire and it makes sense for both of us, then take that next step to dating and if not, we are still great friends. The extra bonus there is that I already know the person really well, so there isn't a lot of time, effort, money put into someone only to realize you aren't compatible.

I think online dating is a bit unlikely. I quite like the discussion of various topics with complete strangers. I think I'm far more likely to meet a potential date at work or at some real life event.
Having said that I did 'meet' my most recent partner through an internet forum. It wasn't a dating forum though. We had been posting, along with many other people, about this and that, when she posted that she was coming to Cornwall on holiday with a friend. I offered to take them both surfing.
So I think it is possible but unlikely.
PLUS I'm far to tight fisted to pay the fees on a conventional dating site

its all about money

I hear ya folks. I’ve done a lot of online dating over the years, and always tailor my messages. I just tend to see so much ghosting after what seems like a decent date, or convo and felt whiny about it. I wanna try meetups, but the ones I find interest in seem...dead.

As with most things in life - if you don't believe it works ... it won't.

Both men and women have similar challenges, by the way. Yet - there are also many couples resulting.

Isn't it better to get to know the 'true' person before going out with them? With my late partner we spent 2 months on the phone before we met (and it was a long distance relationship). A strong base was formed which led to a strong relationship. I have said before and will continue saying, if one looks to chemistry one is leaving success up to chance (and chemicals which are fickle).

It may seem futile but success doesn't come cheap or easy.

I tried online dating. I really did. After giving it what I feel was a pretty fair shake, I have determined that, for me, it is an exercise in futility.
At this point, I'm not even going to bother. I live in too rural an area. I no longer drive. I'm not inviting anyone to come to where I am. Logistics are not my friend.
Almost 20 years ago, I met my ex-husband online, not on a dating site. (Freakin' internet's been around for that long already!!! Amazeballs!!!) For those who are still trying, it is possible, but you have to make sure your expectations are realistic. I wish you good luck.

Well it is true that women received tons and tons of computer generated messages that always say the same damn thing. If you're interested in someone on a dating site ,read her profile . send her a message with questions showing that you did read her profile. you have much better chance of standing out that way.

I've given up on finding someone. I'm just going to keep living my life and hopefully I'll meet someone I want to annoy for the rest of my life.