Would you please all contribute to a thread about how to have a conversation? It's desperately needed. My advice: ask questions. Be interested in finding out who the other person is. Otherwise it seems like you just want someone to look at while you talk. Get a mirror for that.
Here's some sites with good advice. [zoosk.com]
[eharmony.com]
[askmen.com]
i used to teach a journalism class, in english, to very uninterested and not-very-bright young japanese women. i gave them an assignment to do in class one day. in their teams (as they were too shy to do anything alone) they wrote three questions to ask me, as if interviewing a subject for an article. then, team by team, they would ask me their questions. it usually went something like this:
girl: what do you like to eat?
me: dead babies.
girl (checking notes): where were you born?
me: i just told you i like to eat dead babies. don't you want to ask me something about that? when someone answers your question that way, put your notes aside and ask questions! LISTEN to the ANSWERS!
conversation works that way too. you can get some hints from some profiles (and not so many from others) but once you start chatting, LISTEN.
g
It helps if you can even pretend to be interested in something I am interested in.
i would hate that! i'd rather just find out we have nothing in common than have someone pretend.
g
I find people interesting, and often it's not WHAT they do, but WHY. I have learned all sorts of things about activities and ideas I felt no connection to, until I asked someone who was into it why it interested them. I've heard some amazing stories about things that seemed pretty mundane -- until I asked!