What the fuck have i done?!!
I am too impulsive.....it's the story of my life. I get into these silly situations where i get employment that i can't cope with and i end up walking out or leaving....in these right wing days that spells danger as you can be sanctioned, and that means the fuckers won't give you any benefit at all, not just hardship allowance, nothing....or if u are lucky a loan....that you are expected to pay back once your sanction is over.....
It all began recently when i applied for a cleaning job that was with a contract company that had taken the job over from another company who had reign over this job for a very long time! I was suprised when i had the interview within a day of applying, then even more suprised to be offered the job after a few days. I couldn't cope with it from day one, and day two just got worse, with me making mistake after mistake, and the woman who i was shadowing kept telling me to hurry up. That's when i had a word with the supervisor and told her that it wasn't for me, and she encouraged me to pack it in....she didn't say the two magic words 'you're fired' which is a shame because if she had she would have saved me worrying about how the job centre are going to respond once the shit hits the fan, which will be only a matter of time. I have dyspraxia, and people have told me to go down the health route, it worked with the last job that i walked out of years ago, but i did have to write an appeal letter to prevent myself from being sanctioned, and i actually won, which i never thought i would....the thing is i left before any contract was written up from the employer, i don't know if this will actually work to my favour. Funnily enough when i walked back home on the second day, my brother said he had this feeling that i would be back at home, as he was out at the time, and he was right, it's like we have this physic connection at times! I know that if i had stayed, i wouldn't have got any faster and i would have no doubt been fired. I just felt so fuckin miserable in the time being. Work and me really don't work well, i'll do it when i have to, but i have never enjoyed it apart from when i worked at a theme park. The thing is that experience has put my off cleaning jobs for life, i worry that they will all act like this company, the hours are short because they're cramming in workloads that need to be rushed, i can't work like that, i will and do end up making mistakes. It makes my dyspraxia worse....So now i am back with this lunatic scheme for the unemployed who have 'barriers to work'....it's all very patronising and i am sure they would be happy to see me suffer so they can pick up a bonus, they are bank rolled by the benefit paymasters...paid by results, as far as i am concerned there is no humanity there....they told me flat out that they know i have dyspraxia, but won't help me in any way with it, all they're interested in is getting me a job as quickly as possible so they can get brownie points and say 'look what we have done!'......it was actually me who found the disaster of a job i dropped and now i dread telling these lot, because i can see them trying to bully me to go back there.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Is there a group home/assisted living program you could join where you could also get additional vocational training?
Also, are there medications you should be taking? I only ask because you have signs of paranoia in thinking that people and programs were designed to make you fail and that "they would be happy to see" you "suffer so they can pick up a bonus"...
There is no "they" hoping to make you suffer for their pleasure.
Also, Employers depend on employees maintaining a pace and rate of completion in their jobs so that they can make a profit and PAY the employee. If you do not meet the work standards, you are costing a company money instead of helping them make it.
Can you imagine if I, as a chef, told an employer "not to rush me" and that I was only going to complete one order an hour despite the dining room being full of patrons? That is ridiculous. There are standards that have to be met in all jobs. That's just the way it is. If you don't want to work for others, then start your own company or become a freelance contractor --- but, you will have to meet the requirements/needs/timeframe of your paying customers. e.g. let's say you became a wedding photographer.....would you get paid if you showed up late or only took 5 photos of the whole wedding? There are ALWAYS standards to meet and deadlines to meet.
Your attitude toward both work and the people charged with helping you find gainful employment is troublesome.
SkotlandSkye
Level 8
Oct 20, 2018
1
next time, if there is a next time, make them fire you. you will be able to get unemployment benefits.
meanwhile, apply for social security disability, and make sure you have a ton of documentation -- and patience, because almost everyone is turned down the first time. DO appeal if you are turned down. if the appeal goes wrong, reapply it may take a few times and it may take years but it's worth it.
have you tried job counseling, to help you determine what kind of job you could better tolerate and succeed at? even a low-level (a matter of opinion of course) job can be something to be proud of and take an interest in, and to try to do well. but if you take on jobs you know you can't do, the failure will turn you bitter. who needs that?
g
genessa
Level 8
Oct 19, 2018
1
Ozay:
it's a bit more complicated than that! i am on a benefit which doesn't allow you go any other all that would happen would be i would be in a different group of job seekers but on the same benefit!
I looked up dyspraxia on wikipedia. Sounds as though any type of physical work would be unsuitable for you. Can't they help you find something more suitable, with consideration to your dyspraxia?
bingst
Level 8
Oct 19, 2018
2
Ozay:
i wish they could, but they won't, and i know this for a fact...i have been in an ocean of shit, these people are ruthless, you just have tow the line!
This may sound harsh, but I suspect your main barrier to managing at work is your attitude towards it. You say that you and work have never got on and you do it when you have to. Your brother anticipated that you would quit and you had assumed you wouldn't be able to cope from day 1. That isn't psychic, it's knowing how you and work interact.
It's a mindset that is easy to get into when you have had several crappy low skilled jobs with little job satisfaction.
The way you write suggests that you are not unintelligent, so is there any training available to help you re-skill and find a job in a field that you enjoy? This will not only open up more opportunities for work, but also in areas with better pay and job satisfaction.
Dispraxia is not always a hinderence in all areas - but cleaning and using equipment is probably one that will cause difficulties. Here in the UK, dispraxia is recognised as a disability and so attracts additional support and our equality legislation ensures that employers needs to put in reasonable adjustments to help you do your job.
I wish you luck for the future.
Uncorrugated
Level 7
Oct 19, 2018
4
Ozay:
i wish it was that easy, it isn't!! all these people want is for me get a job asap, they aren't going help me, and this is how they have treated my friends so i'm not being paranoid
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