This is a lovely story and while the truth is that impact means more than intent, I don't see this as the problem mentioned in the video. This is a child looking at one person in history and wanting to be like them. Short of blackface, I don't see a little white kid dressing up as their black idol as a problem at all. If you look at a lot of these costumes, they're gross generalizations of entire races. Using garb and paint of indigenous people's is just wrong because we know not a single person in this country is learning enough about what those symbols mean before adorning themselves. What some people aren't getting -- mainly because most of the people want the right to do whatever without considering anyone else -- is that when you costume someone's culture, more often than not, it's wrong and you're using something that was used to oppress that group. I'm old enough to remember when rap music was called "jungle music" and not music at all. I was mildly irritated as it moved into mainstream culture, but I also realize that is part of living in this country. The other thing that makes your story different is that there was an effort to know who Oprah is not just "wear" her. I would say that it is important that child one day understand class and race, because Oprah isn't who she is regardless of race and gender...she is who she is WITH race and gender as real factors to her story. Obviously not something a small child would understand, but hopefully with time she'd be interested enough in her story to find out more about those elements.
Finally, take a look at the responses to a request. I said please consider trying not to dress up as a culture and every other white dude felt the need to tell me exactly how racism and cultural appropriation works. This is how voice of color get silenced. Merely speaking up for ourselves causes a backlash as if we are trying to take something from them. A video of women saying "please don't wear my people's face as a costume" gets "stop being so PC!!" Really? I can't speak for all people of color, but I know black people have been told to stop complaining for our entire history of being in this country...when we ask merely to be seen and have some ownership over who we are. That's how racism works in even the most "progressive" people. I don't think you are or were speaking that way. And thanks for thinking enough about your comment so that you didn't sound like that.

@Olnoseven I very much appreciate the struggle others have gone through, weather it is my struggle or not. And as far as I'm concerned, that goes for all people. I would also like to state that I agree with things said on both sides of this argument, just as I disagree with others on both sides. Also I forgot to mention that I cannot view the video so I apologize if I missed something. This issue, while it may not seem to pertain to me, is one I care a great deal about. I don't want to speak to you as a white woman to a black man. I want to speak to you as one living, feeling, loving, hurting, beautiful being to another. It seems, after reading several comments, that you are feeling in some way attacked or threatened or something similar. I could be wrong but that's how I took all this back and forth between you and these other folks. My point is, I am not saying you don't have a valid reason for feeling that way, but perhaps if you were a bit more careful in choosing your words you would get a more civil conversation. I don't mean to say either side is completely right or wrong. But when you make generalizations about people who have never even crossed your path before this very moment, such as we know not a single person in this country etc., This is it's own form of prejudice. When you say things like because you saw I was a black man, to people who hadn't even been concerned enough with your skin color or gender to check, it implies that there may be something sinister in their motives when there honestly doesn't seem to be. I don't know my dear, maybe you have seen and experienced so much hatred that all you see when someone's opinion is different is an attack, but I think that many of us here who commented were only trying to explain an alternative viewpoint. But that doesn't mean there aren't going to be jerks either. ?

@Byrd I understand what you're saying and I appreciate it. I think it was James Baldwin who said something like "to be black and this country and not be angry is the equivalent of being unconscious" or something like that. It is painful to be black and brown here. Not just because of what actually happens to us, but because when we talk of injustices upon us, we are told that we're too emotional and it's not that big of a deal. See this thread for evidence. I'm more passionate than mad, for sure, but I think if you could see the video, it would help a lot. It's something that people can easily say "Yeah. I can see why that bothers you and I won't do it." Instead, there's a line up behind the 1st Amendment and the defense of being a jerk comes down to "Why are you so sensitive?" I dunno. Maybe it's watching my grandfather flinch as he was called "boy" by a white dude even at the ripe age of 65. We're not at the point where we can afford to not see color. If we were people wouldn't still be treating me like I'm black.

@Olnoseven I do very much believe that all kinds of people throughout history and before it, have had hardships placed upon them by others. I don't mean any of what I say to diminish the harsh realities of each of our various struggles. All I am saying is yes, there will always be ass holes. Just because those people do a thing for a bad reason doesn't mean everyone who does that thing is doing it for the same reason. I am sorry if it bothers you, I don't mean that in a ride backwards sort of way, I truly am sad that so many people feel hurt so often. But as I said previously, we are all hurting because of something, and while it is not feasible to think we can avoid offending everyone, we can all try to listen a bit closer to each other and hear what the other person really said instead of what we think they mean. And this isn't a comment pointed squarely on you. For example when you wrote that we know no one in this country ect. In regards to people taking the time to learn about the cultures they choose to emulate, at first I admit it ruffled my feathers a bit. But instead of being angry or defensive or any of that, I tried to use it as a learning/teaching experience. On that note btw, I have always found learning about various cultures fascinating. I like that each is both unique and similar to the others in odd random or not so random ways.

Comments like this really don't help.

@Olnoseven People naturally put their backs up when told what they can or can't do, especially when the objection is based on feelings rather than any logic or reason.

Obviously there are racists, people who wear things to denigrate others. Those people are the worst. Culture appropriation is an outdated concept in a country where so many of them intermingle as part of a national identity.

Mexican restaurants in the southeast pour white cheese over everything. Is it "authentic?" No. Is it cultural appropriation? Lol no.

Everything in this country, in terms of culture, has been appropriated from somewhere else. Welcome to the melting pot. Join in, jack a piece of another culture and add in your own flavor, that's how it works.

@Xuande Thank you for explaining to the brown person how racism in America works. White dudes are so good at that. I'll be sure to alert all of the other black and brown people that since our troubles in this country are over, they needn't worry about it. Appreciate it!

@Olnoseven The hell are you talking about? Get out of your feelings. I'm not telling you how to feel,,and I certainly never said racism was over. I'm explaining why I think cultural appropriation is crap.

But it's nice to know that since I didn't immediately agree with you I get this passive aggressive nonsense. Like I said, get out of your feelings it ain't like that.

@Xuande "Get out of your feelings," says the man who tried to explain how cultural appropriation has nothing to do with racism. Really? Do you always not just correct POC on their issues but also tell them how they get to feel about them...or are you just treating me special?

@Olnoseven Again. Literally no one is telling you how to feel. The people that disagree with you aren't harming you in any way.

Also, stop acting like you represent everyone who isn't white, you don't. Kindly take your emotional arguments somewhere else.

@Xuande "No one is telling you how to feel." "This is no place for your emotional arguments."
You really can't see it, can you?

@Olnoseven it's not unreasonable to expect people to argue using logic and reason, regardless of how they feel personally.

@Xuande Your bullshit philosophical topic of discussion is my reality. You are also more than free to stop commenting if you don't like it. What you're not allowed to do is tell me or any other person of color that emotion has no place in a discussion about racism. So if you don't know how to have this discussion without mentioning my feelings, you can politely shut the fuck up and move on. No one invited your weak tea thesis on culture. This isn't some college course wherein we rub our chins and see "how does the negro react to bullshittery."

@Xuande Before you craft another response, remember that you started this by mocking the women in the video with a Shrek photo. Don't complain about hostility when you treat a cultural conversation with mimicry.

@Olnoseven Show me where the bad people wearing fucking Halloween costumes hurt you.

You're so caught up in what you think I'm trying to do, and getting offended at every little step along the way, that this ceased to be an actual argument some time ago.

And yes, I do get to expect everyone to provide rational, reasonable arguments. I have not insulted you, I haven't done anything to harm you. But since you went there ...

Do me a favor: Lay off the sauce when you post. When you come back, maybe a little more sober, we can try again. I'm not gonna sit here and get this implied racist bullshit all night because you can't fucking control yourself. And no, not because you're black, because you're being an emotional tool.

@Olnoseven That picture was in response to another equally silly human being crying outrage over a costume. A girl wore a Chinese-inspired prom dress, and just like you, someone got lost in their feelings over nothing. Why shouldn't ANYONE be able to be inspired by another culture, if no harm is intended, if no moral boundaries are crossed?

@Xuande Here...let me translate for you "This isn't a big deal, you EMOTIONAL black man. You can't even logic, bro. You have to be drunk because you're reading my words as I wrote them, complete with not only telling you you're too emotional to discuss race with my superior intellect, but as someone who knows ALL the cultures like mixing and you don't speak for all black people! I am NOT insulting you. I'm just telling you how your race should respond to this issue. And it's just like me! Because I use logic and you are wrong." Did I get it all or were you going to mention your black friend who approved you talking to me like this?

@Xuande Dude, I literally have been duking it out with "well-meaning" (but not really) white people like you for 20 years. I can do it all night.

@Xuande No one but your own insistence that you are right is making you stay.

@Olnoseven LMFAO.

Nowhere did I say you were a stupid black man. The only time I referenced your color was to ensure you didn't take the one insult I DID send your way wasn't because of it. Because you know, you like to take everything I say and do that little "imply he's racist" bullshit with every post because I disagreed with you.

Also, nowhere did I say I was smarter than you. On any level.

But you know what? You're right, partially. I'm sorry for implying you must be drunk to go on hysterical, nonsensical rants where everyone who disagrees with you is just racist. It must just be your personality.

For the record, I'm here all night. You want to go down this road I've got petty for motherfucking days. They're gonna delete this shit soon, but I'm here til then anyway.

You want to convince me of something? Great, we can go back to reason and facts. You want to sit here and cry? Cool. We can do that to.

I can't wait for your next post, where you purposefully misinterpret some of this to imply I'm racist again. Here's your stage, fuckstick:

@Xuande I would invite you to look back at your every comment, beginning in mockery of the issue, and then attempting to belittle me by gaslighting me. Dogwhistles are these things people like you use and then you don't have to claim responsibility for how you talk to anyone. You're one of those men that insults a woman (or whomever you date) and then insists she get out of her feelings to discuss the problem logically. I would ask you to look at these but you don't seem to have the self-awareness. It's my fault I'm seeing your comments as attempting to control the dialogue and therefore bullshit. It's my fault.

Did you even notice that you addressed my emotions more than I did?

You also likely think that because you're a self-proclaimed non-racist, you can tell POC the tone with which they address the issues affecting them. I'm not trying to convince you. I never was. I was holding a mirror up to your comments and tone. People like you aren't here to have a conversation even though that's what you'll call it. You shit on a concept not even allowing for a modicum of an experience that may come from a place so different from yours as to have some insight on real true oppression. Nah. Fuck that. We fabricate racism and cultural appropriation is an out-dated concept, says the white man so it must be true -- but that's not where you're coming from because...what? You don't see color? As long as you don't mention it, that's not what it's about.

I've always loved the insult "fuckstick" because it's like the bottom of white boy insults. You can tell when you've hit it. Yeah, you've hit it on the head. But you were a little off. I wasn't implying you're saying racist stuff. The only thing worse than a bigot is a person who acts like one and is too ignorant to know it.

But for reals, tell me something. Why is it that white people get so much more heated about being called out for racist shit than you do about actual racist shit? Can you just not see it unless some makes it about you?

@Xuande On second thought...since this isn't going to be productive, why don't you hit me back with at least 5 insults that are more cutting than "fuckstick"...I believe in you.

@Olnoseven Imagine that, you purposefully misinterpreted some of the things I said, and made outright assumptions about me personally, to make ... a point? Somewhere?

I gave you the stage expecting a regressive version of Hamlet and all I got was a retread of the same stuff.

I don't even feel insulted, because you're not even targeting me. You've stood up this cardbord cutout which you've given an archetype and are flinging shit to see what sticks. It's amusing to watch, but sad to argue against.

I mean look at that last graph, "Why is it white people ..."

Lmfao, full stop. Did you just ask me to answer a question for all the people with the same skin tone as me? (INB4: White people do this to POC!) Not to mention assuming how I react to actual racist shit.

Yikes. This is a bad look for you. Don't worry, I won't imply you're racist or anything. I will, however, continue to think you're a fuckstick. It's a fun word to say

It doesn't even matter what I put here. You're not even arguing against me. By all means, continue making everyone who agrees with you cringe.

@Olnoseven 5 insults more cutting than fuckstick? I bet I can do that.

@Olnoseven
@Olnoseven
@Olnoseven
@Olnoseven
@Olnoseven

@Xuande Yeah. I told you I wasn't arguing with you from the beginning. I believe my first comment still applies, so I'm wondering what ground you've gained. I love that you're so non-racist you don't even see your own color. That's a marvel only a white dude could pull off. And the 5 insults...that was almost poetry. See it's "Old #7"....say it that way 5 times. That's the rub.

@Olnoseven There's no ground to gain when we just sit here and bullshit like this. I'm not trying to score points, I'm only here now because it's funny to see what unhinged shit you'll say next.

By the way, I'm not the one who's been issuing insults based on skin tone here these last few posts. Yikes. Like I said, bad look for you bro. Real bad.

AND DID YOU SAY OLD #7? OMFG THAT'S JACK DANIELS. HE WAS WHITE. STOP APPROPRIATING MY CULTURE.

See that? That's what you look like. JFC.

Here, let me repeat something someone else said to you, because I find it quite pertinent:

Renickulous replied Oct 20, 2018

@Olnoseven you should have put a warning "this response contains no real content"

@Xuande It helps to know your history, fuckstick...wow. That is fun to say. [nytimes.com]

@Olnoseven Renickulous replied Oct 20, 2018

@Olnoseven you should have put a warning "this response contains no real content"

But it is fun to say right? Since you called it a "white guy" insult, I guess you're not allowed to use it though. Darn.

@Xuande Click on the link, dude. It's about Jack Daniels. Come on, man. Keep up with the jokes. For chrissy's sake I'm not doing this for myself.

@Olnoseven Thank you for not continuing to use the word "fuckstick" as that apparently belongs to the white delegation.

Since he's basically already there, you want to trade Kanye? I'm thinking for like a 7th rounder

@Xuande Nah. Y'all can just have his ashy ass. I'm not sure your side really has anything we want. Maybe a little bit of that privilege...but then again, it kinda makes y'all a bit jerky. So...nah...we good. You can hold on to Kanye as well. And while you're at it Tiger Woods and Cosby too. There's a whole set for you. You can even use them as "your black friend" when you wanna next say something to another brown person about how we should act. Those three are good for it.

@Xuande Also, you may not want to be requoting Renickulous.That dude doesn't even think systemic racism is a thing. You and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of shit, but you're way smarter than that.

@Olnoseven I'd repeat that no one told you how to act, but you're in your zone. Do you boo boo.

Imma have to decline on Bill Cosby. We gotta start getting people to think raping people is more than a white bro thing. I'm banking on Kanye flipping this for publicity at some point, otherwise I'm taking an L. But you got to trust a star performer.

Any chance we can have Barack? No? OK, never hurts to ask.

And I am pretty smart huh? Thanks man. Wanna hug it out?

Tell ya what. Trump. He's all yours. White delegation cedes him to the black delegation.