with the divorce rate where it is, the woman keeping her last name and the children having her name makes all kinds of sense.

I have long felt that at marriage both spouses should change to a third party name.

I changed my name the first time I got married. By the second time I got married my kids were teens and they asked me not to change my name. Since I got divorced the second time I didn't have to change my name again. I'm not changing it again.

Well, since I'm never getting married or having kids, I'll keep my adoptive dad's last name. I love it. I wish it was my first name though. It's Taylor btw.

My wife and I are both Italian and she decided to take my last name with absolutely no influence from me at all . I can fully understand why a woman would not want to give up her last name due to her giving up a part of her identity

I had no problem changing my last name when I got married decades ago. At that time everyone did. I have 3 children with their father's last name. But since they have grown up and out on their own, I keep thinking about changing back to my maiden name. Our divorce was not pleasant and I think about being buried with his name when we haven't been together for decades. I just worry how my kids (even though they are grown) would feel about it. I fear it would make them feel that there is a barrier between us.

You will probably find this article on how Spanish surnames work fascinating: [brighthubeducation.com]

My wife being a feminist, never changed from her maiden name when we married. That has led to a lot of confusion over the years. I have had to explain to some government entities and institutions that we are indeed married and that she had kept her last name.

In Puerto Rican culture women do not change their last name after marriage, and any children they have take the primary last names of both parents, so everyone has two last names - one from each parent. While this is not a novel idea, it is not as popular in the US. Something I've been seeing more of is a couple selecting a brand new last name for both of them after they are married, which I like. It signifies they are one family unit, and neither side is of more importance than the other.

When I married the first time, my wife changed her last name to mine. She had gone through a divorce, and didn't want his name. I adopted her kids, and all have the same last name. Years later, I divorced and then remarried. (in my mid 50's). My wife was in business, and kept her name, which was fine with me. With all the mergers and acquisitions, my grand kids have several grand parents. Mostly we go by Papa, and Grandmother "first name". Don't have any hyphenated names yet.

I am sorry I changed my name. But my son, who is justifiably angry at his father, said that when I divorce, that if I go to my maiden name, he will take my name as well. This is a huge gift to me at a time of tremendous pain.

I was married and I kept my own name.
My husband didn't care what my reasons were,
as long as he had me. He also thought that it was my choice.

I'm not getting married

I was married in 1978 and my wife changed her name more or less as a matter of course. My son was married last year, and I was pleased and mildly surprised that his wife changed her name. I don't know if she thought about it much; her two older sisters had changed theirs, too. I also suspect that she liked her new name better.

When I finally decided to marry my soon-to-be-ex, I told her, "It's your name. I don't care what you do with it, but please stop using your ex-husband's last name." She agreed. She wanted to use her maiden name so that people who were friends of hers when she was younger could find her in an internet search. I agreed, reiterating to her that it's her name so it's her choice.

Once the time came for her to officially choose a last name, she decided to use my name and her maiden name in the hyphenated naming style. However, despite the worker at the Social Security office trying to explain to her the customary way of doing it, she put my last name before her maiden name. In other words, someone seeing her name would assume that her maiden name is my last name, and that my last name is her maiden name.

Her Social Security card is the only place the name appears that way. Her drivers license has it the other way. It's never caused any real issues, but it does cause confusion from time to time.

She'll get another shot at changing her name in the near future. I'm assuming she will choose her maiden name.

My children who were born in Mexico have both paternal and maternal names. It is the standard there and some other places in the world. An example of how it works is this: [Given name] [Second name] [Paternal last name]-[Maternal last name]. The system works just fine. Though it is common for a woman in Mexico to use her husband's name, it is not mandated.

I personally see that as something private between the man and wife. For me, I changed my name the first time I married. It was such a pain in the ass to change it back that I never changed it again.

My oldest son has my last name (I wasn't married when I had him). My daughter and youngest son has their father's name. Eventually my youngest son will get his name changed because he doesn't want the name of an abusive man, but now that his father is dead it's not as big an issue.

Good question.. I’ve two daughters and neigher plan to ‘lose their name’ if married; and they’re not even sure about the ‘married’ part… Honestly, I was glad my former wife remarried so she wasn’t out there using my name.

I’ve relatives in Sweden (look to the norwegian nations for enlightened views), ‘his’ two daughters were given his last name, and their son was given his mother’s last name! I’m not a fan of the hyphenated eight-syllable surnames ..one correct pronunciation seems punishment enough…

Given the historic perceptions of chastity, I wonder if this wasn't done to give the female a "fresh start" with marriage. Virginity isn't restored but the appellation is transformed.

I added my husband's name to mine.

Well was married twice. Kept first marriage name till I remarried and took 2nds last name. Divorced after 2 years I kept that last name for our daughter and 20 yrs later still have that last name. Never wanted to use my maiden name professionally-too ethnic.

It’s certainly her choice, but I think it’s sweet to want to share a name.

It would be easier for both partners to have the same last names for paperwork and whatnot, but I would just go by what sounds better. I like last names that either sound royal like King or Prince or is a color like Green or Grey. If a couple has kids then I would look to see if the last name would die out if they didn't give it to there kids. Otherwise just whatever sounds cooler or rock paper scissors if either would work. Heck, maybe you both hate your last names and change both of them to something else.

Is Culture and Courtesy. In some countries never happens. In some countries do not change but as courtesy and as affirmation she is married she may include after her last name "mrs of husband last name" and if she is a widow will add after her last name "widow of husband last name". Different countries... different customs.