"White men also get to authorise what constitutes pain and whose pain is legitimate" Robin DiAngelo, in her 2018 book White Fragility,why it's so
hard for White people to talk about racism
There's a special form of narcissism from white guys who think their personal lack of racism can somehow solve the problems of other people living under white patriarchy. Especially embarrassing to witness when a white guy expects so much coddling and praise that he somehow manages to equate lack of it with systemic racism.
Wouldn't that be their own perceived lack of racism?
I know some people want to hate, but hiding behind racism and sexism to legitimize one's racism and sexism is just wrong.
Would you translate this comment for me, or maybe elaborate?
@ailurophile "White men also get to authorize what constitutes pain and whose pain is legitimate" - that is a racist/sexist comment. Essentially in today's narrative, a person can say anything racist or sexist against white men, because obviously all white men belong in that racist sexist grouping, therefore it's perfectly ok to be racist and sexist toward them.
I'm currently working on a title for my book on the topic of "people who assume all white men are racists". Any suggestions?
Seriously, not everything is explained by playing that card.
Well you poor little thing, you.
How about, "Let Me Prove to You I'm Not Racist"? You/they/whoever would need to prove absence of racism in order to validate the claim of inaccurate accusations of racism.
@citronella Which is... a logical impossibility. Like proving the non-existence of god.
What irks me these days is the de facto politically correct assumption that men like me are racist sexist bigots who must be taught the error of our ways. I've never been any of that. But I also don't accept that race/ethnicity is the explanation for all the problems in life.
@Paul4747 The term "racist" or "sexist" may be inappropriate. Perhaps we should be talking about benefiting from systemic power or not being required to think about one's own demographics when interacting with others. Because those ARE phenomena that DO exists.
When the terms"racist" or "sexist" do get bandied about, I think they are more directed at the system as a whole, and less focused on specific individuals. But my suggestion was not entirely in jest. I think there are people who are unfairly called racist or sexist, AND there are also people who may be unaware that they are in fact, racist or sexist. And it's those people that I want to take the time to think about their own behavior before they decide that the term doesn't apply to them. That's why I suggest the task of proving absence of the characteristic rather than just assuming that it does not apply to one's self.
@citronella Here's my thing; I don't assume anyone is a racist (or whatever) any more than I assume anyone follows a particular religion or political party. Yet I am surrounded (in my line of work) by people who apparently assume that I personally, not the system, not society, but I personally am a racist, because of my skin color. They belong to groups whose guiding ideology is built around the notion that white people as a monolithic group are consciously and intentionally oppressing all other people. All white people, therefore, including me. I can't judge their sincerity any more than they can judge mine; I can only look at their words and actions.
I don't feel the need to "prove" myself, I simply treat everyone the same in my thoughts, words and actions. That's going to have to be good enough. I have no intention of going around trying to "prove" myself "not a racist" every day, because it won't do any good with the people who think I am anyway.