Only god knows?

Great post. Yeah , enabling family members' drug addiction/felonies just doesn't work out when they start looking at you for cars and funding.

@UrsiMajor Beware of "Co-signing",you will be stuck with the payments,regardless of how much trust you have for that person.....

@Mike1947 Funny you mention that. I thought having a husband on a mortgage payment would make life more stable. I never want to co-own a house with anyone ever again.

@UrsiMajor My wife died last Sept.2017,but my mortgage isn't too bad,affordable at $530 and I get by,I rented out my house to a couple that took in a Niece,so it's working out ok. I've got a rented room about 10 miles away,picking up my mail ever few days,so my money hungry controlling stepson has no idea of where I'm at.

@Mike1947 I knew this real-life thing was going to get complicated, but wow.

@UrsiMajor My 50 year old stepson has this wrong with him; 100% blind in his left eye from a drug related fight,tremors from years of drug use,has hepitius C in his liver ,still drinks,does drugs, takes a pharmacy worth of state supplied meds for mood swings,and high blood pressure and other ailments is hypoglysemic(low blood sugar,)no skills cannot drive a car,got into drug use at about age 10,a real mess.

I want nothing to do with him.... gets by on a state food card and about $780 a month from a blind pension fund. Sad ,but he's the one that never paid into social security, always "Under the table work....

@Mike1947 My ex-sister-in-law was going down that path.. I guess your posts are what I am missing..

Totally agree about the line on whoring out for security. There's another part of settling concerning looks. I won't message someone on Match whose photos don't at least suggest to me some chance of being sexually attracted to them. Because I remember how much it sucked when I was young and less discriminating and honest with myself about if someone's looks attracted me much or not. It's no more fun to be the one rejecting someone later on when you know they're not attractive enough to turn you on than it is to be on the receiving end. Better to not even begin leading them or yourself on no matter how compatible they might seem otherwise. Shallow Hal was a great movie about getting beyond using looks as the sole criterion, but it was unrealistic about looks not being important in the mix, unless both people are just asexual.

@TomMcGiverin I completely agree with you. I was in a situation years ago where I allowed myself to continue with a relationship even though I wasn’t physically attracted to the guy. I told myself he was a good person, that he was kind, devoted and a good friend. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings by rejecting him, so I attempted to rationalize why I should proceed with the relationship. That was the WORST mistake I ever made. We were a complete mismatch, and he became possessive and paranoid. The longer we were together, the more he physically repulsed me. When I finally got him out of my life, I decided I would never settle again. You cannot rationalize away the importance of physical chemistry. Sometimes in a relationship, that’s the only thing that gets you through the rough parts! ?

.Number 2 is big
When they wear a t-shirt with a video game control and "Control Freak", you should probably listen when people tell you who they are...