I was driving my karma down through my dharma, when I accidentally ran over my dogma. I had just traded in my Darshan for a new Hindu. It was time to reincarnate.

I was with my friend Samsara on our way to the beach for a Swami. The accident made me Sikha. Maya jivas hurt. So I donned my Prarabdha bag and unattached to the Gucci.

We metaphysic near Shaman who looked like a Sadguru (Why so sad little guru?). He said his name was Bodhi. I asked him where we were, and he said, “Nirvana.” I asked him, “Nirvana? Can you be more specific?” And he said, “Two blocks away!” Oh yeah, we’re very near.

As I pulled away, they all yelled after me, “Yoga Gurl!”