Same here....

Join the "Recovering Theists" Group and read and hear the stories of others who have questioned their faith and ultimately chose the liberating feeling of free-thought.

When you were born you believed in an invisible supernatural (not of the natural (real) world) sky daddy that, to please himself for rules he imposed on himself, offered himself to be sacrificed to himself in the form of a Jewish male born to a virgin woman he impregnated?

Wow! When you were "born" you must have represented the most informed (to believe in the Catholic dogma), newborn to ever exist.

All joking aside, (sorry, I couldn't resist such low hanging fruit) Sounds like you have begun what may become a life changing journey. To question (anything) is a healthy mind condition that usually leads to great growth.

I have helped de-converted a few Catholics and most of them thank me and tell me how much better their understanding of the world (ability to appreciate the beauty and diversity of the world they were conditioned to fear when they rise from the darkness of faith) (belief without evidence) based superstition to fact (demonstrable) based reality.

This usually takes more then a month and dozens of hours of open discussion. The first man I helped escape the darkness of Catholicism caught wind of my respect for truth over faith by standing on the sidelines while I debated a different (God hates gays so we need to kill the gays) Catholic. He approached me and we went back and forth (almost every day for an hour or so for about six weeks), he worked at my gym, until he admitted reaching a level of understanding that what he was taught (Catholic) was not an honest reflection of realty but he still had issues abandoning his religion as he still believed catholic Priests were authoritative of God's will voiced of the holy church. When I referred him to Edward Tarte, now an atheist that in his early years spent five years as a Catholic priest before he figured out the entire Catholic faith was not supported by reality, After watching several of Edward Tarte's youtube videos on what it is like to be a Catholic priest and the problems with (scripture) , how the church works, etc. the Catholic man was able to break free - His night terrors of hell (that often awoke him) were gone and his live became a better experience.

In only one case a man I helped de-convert fell back into his faith as he -to quote him- "Lacked the strength".

Your observations are actually good and you are by no stretch of the imagination alone walking on your current path. If you have time to burn, I would recommend watching (Youtube) "The Atheist Experience" You will find many Christians with similar questions. Some of the answers are insightful.

Hope you find the best possible outcome for your life.

We are herd animals and feel safe and secure when in the zone with the others. It has always been difficult for those of us who have chosen to be on the outside. However, I prefer looking at life and people as objectively as I can. Religion can be a comfort but for me I have a hard time understanding 'why' we have this need to believe in gods and devils.

No one can say what might be “worth it” for another person, but I can talk about what has been worth it for me.

No one gets to choose what worldview they are born into, but anyone can choose the worldview that makes the most sense to them after they’ve had time to think about it and study the options. The problem is, there are a lot of options if you go looking for them.

Established religions are ready-made belief systems that are the product of thousands of years of human thought, feeling, and experience. Replacing them with a system of one’s own making can be a frustrating and time-consuming project. It can require pacing oneself and being patient.

I have abandoned my entire worldview and started over from the beginning... more than once, and, though it can be painful and difficult, it has turned out to be very much worth it, for me.

Best wishes to you in your ponderings. May you find your peace much more quickly than I did.

The only thing you can really do is do what's right for yourself. If you really don't think that this is something that's good for you and your life considering the mental turmoil you're bringing yourself into with believing in something that you seem to not really believe, then maybe it's not the best thing for you... damn that was a long sentence.

If you think you might belong here, then you probably do! There are a lot of people here who have gone through the same questioning that you have, and can relate to how difficult it can be (myself included!). I found that reading about other peoples' experiences really helped put my own experiences in perspective and made me feel that I'm not alone. I hope you can have a similar experience. Good luck on your journey!

I know what you're going through. The attempt to raise me a Catholic failed too. You have the rare gift of common sense. Use it and enjoy it. So what if you miss out on the magical wafers they offer you in trade for your complete devotion? So what if you you don't follow blindly and pledge your soul to the great sky pixie? It's your life and it doesn't last forever. Don't waste it living in fear of what isn't real.

I was strongly religious and finally had to admit that the God I was taught to believe in doesn't exist. I haven't let go of the possibility of God, just admitted that I don't really know. It's been incredibly hard to adjust. But once you know something, you can't go back. And despite the difficulties I would say, yes, it's definitely worth it. I feel much better about my beliefs because they are much more truthful.

If it's true, yes, but will it be painful? Yes. I was a Christian for 27 years before finally acknowledging my rational doubts and resisting the lure of pie in the sky.

You can not force yourself to believe anything, the idea that you can choose faith is not real, and is a fantasy of mind control only dreamed up by the most evil parts of religious dictatorships. You can only be yourself and try to help those around you be the best and happiest they can be too. You are not alone, many on this site have been where you are now, they all survived, and will be happy to help you survive too. You do not have to "come out" not speaking is not the same as telling a lie, and if you do not share someones faith you can still be happy for them if they are happy even if it is because of something you do not share.

it is up to you what is worth doing, but you know, there not being a god doesn't mean there isn't right or wrong. you can still be you, and have ethics, and care for people, and have nothing in particular change about your approach to life except depending on a fictional character and the interpreters of that fictoinal character to tell you what to do. one thing you said, though, makes me think you may or may not know what it is you do or don't believe. you realize that the one you've been praying to and praising all your life doesn't hear you. does that mean you believe there is no god or that you believe there is an uncaring god? my belief, which need not be yours, is that there are no gods of any kind. you might want to figure out what it is you yourself believe.

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I used to be a devout catholic. I became an atheist. The transition took a long time, but it wasn't like I consciously tried to be one. Everyone's experience and values are different. I can't answer what might be "worth it" for you.

But we can certainly hear your thoughts, and let you know that you are not alone in this.

You don't turn away from everything you believe. As an Athiest, I generally believe in most things that Catholics do. I just reject superstition. Kindness, generosity, and basic decency is all I have ever wanted for my self. I was never trying to earn a seat in Heaven, or avoid a pit in Hell. Good luck.

Doesnt really matter if u believe or not, be true to urself. If u believe, believe wholeheartedly. If u don't believe, don't let others pressure u. If ur not sure, research and put some thought into it.

The members of our community are people whose value reason and free thought. It sounds to me that you fit right in here.