What platitudes really drive you mad? I hate it when people say, "Oh well that was meant to be" WTF?
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.This doesn’t drive me mad but reading “De l’inhumanité de la religion” made me more aware of how empty the word spirit is of meaning and how it is attributed meaning by the agenda of those in power
Hiram
Level 4
Nov 26, 2018
1
Many people who say "X was [not] meant to be" aren't really thinking literally about it. I know atheists who say that. I wouldn't say it personally, but ... it can be a way of letting go of expectations and so I wouldn't assume too much about it coming from any particular person.
That said ... of course some people are saying this to acknowledge the influence of some invisible sky wizard, too.
mordant
Level 8
Nov 24, 2018
3
He/she is in a better place. Makes me wanna puke or slap them silly.
kltuckmn
Level 7
Nov 24, 2018
7
If I'm in a snarky mood I might say they are in no place, which is better in that it doesn't involve suffering. I would not say this to negate the comfort a grieving person is taking from this platitude, it's not my place, but if someone is insincerely and mindlessly spouting it, I might tweak them a bit.
Especially since they tend to use that one most when they are talking about childrens deaths.Yuk.
The two that I hate the most are ‘don’t worry because at least you’re not some starving kid in Africa!’ and ‘There’s someone out there for you!’ I will analyze both.
To those who say ‘At least you’re not some starving kid in Africa’ What then do you say to a starving kid in Africa? ‘At least you’re not some... oh wait! Someone else’s suffering doesn’t make me feel better about myself so that platitude doesn’t jive with me.
And the whole platitude ‘there’s someone out there for you’ is flawed on multiple fronts. First off, think of all the people that die before they find anybody. Was the statement not true for them or something? Wouldn’t it be arrogant for me to think that I won’t die before I find somebody. Yeah there was someone out there for Anne Frank! The Gestapo!
Also if someone was destined to inevitably be with me, then in theory I don’t need to make any effort to find them. I can totally let myself go and become a bum and I would still have that guarantee that she would come knocking on my door. Now when does that happen honestly? NEVER!
And think about how many people thought they found the love of their lives only to end up getting divorced or breaking up. Destiny apparently doesn’t have a good track record of getting it right.
MrControversy
Level 7
Nov 24, 2018
2
It's true that trying to contextualize your stubbed toe as being less awful than starving to death in childhood is subject to an infinite regress problem, I suppose, but it is true that nothing is ever so bad that there's no way it couldn't get a bit worse and so it's better to focus on what didn't go wrong as that might actually help you feel better.
"There's someone out there" is not valid if used to advance the One True Love nonsense but it's valid to point out in the sense that there are tens of thousands of people on the planet that you could share an enjoyable life with. The trick is to find, accurately evaluate and successfully woo one of them. So long as you take that as motivation to do that rather than expect them to fall into your lap by magic, that's a good redirection away from despair over a failed relationship.
"You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." You'll catch even more flies with warm shit.
Buxx
Level 7
Nov 24, 2018
2
All aphorisms are true only so far as they can effectively carry their own evidential weight. This is a true statement in a particular context, with some notable exceptions.
“You look great, for your age”. Implying that at any other age you look like crap.
LibrePenseur
Level 7
Nov 24, 2018
1
No it is meant to imply that, unlike most people your age, you look good. It says nothing about people who aren't your age, or you at other ages.
@mordant That is how you take it.
I believe that from a cosmic perspective things really do happen for reasons and things that happen transcend the human concept of good vs. bad.
It’s all good IMO, and that’s no platitude.
WilliamFleming
Level 8
Nov 24, 2018
2
They really don't William, its all just chance. Good things happen to really shitty people and some really lovely creatures have very terrible lives. Its all just chance and as mi old Mum used to say, when yer time is up, its up
@Amisja What you say is true but you are not taking a cosmic perspective. Nature places little value on the life of single organisms, but in a very real sense we are not our bodies anyway. We are Nature herself.
That's no different from theism, except that anyone who believes that is vain enough to think that they can write their own bible.
@Fernapple Good idea—write my own Bible!
It is what it is
Totally vapid and adds nothing to the conversation other than noise.
RPardoe
Level 7
Nov 24, 2018
3
Kind of, sometimes, but ... if it's just meant to say that "there's no sense complaining about the inherent nature of something, because it's not actionable" then I can agree with it.
"Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims."
Diogenes1972
Level 6
Nov 24, 2018
7
BBlleerrghh. It is just such a verbal shrug.
People these days don't really engage anymore... They hear these platitudes growing up and think its the correct response...
Cutiebeauty
Level 9
Nov 24, 2018
7
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