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What is it that makes women go on the defensive, or even the offensive, against other women who stand up to men? Why are women so quick to minimize other women in instances of conflict?
I ask here because there are so many thoughtful folks on this site.

authentica 5 Nov 25
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11 comments

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1

Others have made some valid points here. I'm sure there are many reasons, some unique to circumstances, but here is something I've noticed, that doesn't make sense, but it seems to be true in some instances. - Jealousy - For example, if a woman stands up to a man for making sexually inappropriate remarks or actions, sometimes other women will be jealous that those remarks or actions weren't aimed at them, so they minimize the woman who was the target (victim) of those remarks or actions, instead of standing with her, they stand against her. I have seen this happen in my own life.

@Julie808...valid point

2

There may be cases where this happens, but each one must be looked at on its own and the various circumstances in which it happens. I can’t say that I see a whole trend here....do you think as a rule women take the part of men against other women? If you do it is not something I have noticed as a generality. I think your whole premise is rather sweeping when you ask “why are women so quick to minimise other women in instances of conflict”? I was not aware that this is usually the case., although I accept that in some cases it may be true. Without knowing details of individual instances there is no definitive answer to your question, as the reasons will prove to be as diverse as the circumstances themselves. In other words it is impossible to give a universal answer that covers all cases.

3

At the end of the day we are mammals. Competing whether for mates or resources comes very naturally. Unlessss we are self aware enough to observe and correct our own behaviours, we will continue to behave in instinctual ways. I think tje instinct to quash a "rival" when the opportunity arises is very strong.

men are mammals too, though.

g

@genessa I never said they weren't. Being self aware and not acting on instinct are good things for everyone.

@OpposingOpposum wasn't accusing, just pointing out, since the topic was specifically women. if the answer is that we're mammals, then there should be no specific behavior just for women in regard to attacking one another without a correponding action from men toward one another, and in this case there simply isn't (for sure there is in other cases; men compete for attention just as women do!) but in regard to this specific question, our mammalian nature isn't the answer.

g

@genessa ok. No. That is simply idiotic. "Because this answer is true for men and women and the question was only about women it cannot be the answer". Wtf are you smoking?

@OpposingOpposum i am sad that you characterize it as idiotic and get personal. you may certainly disagree without doing either of those things.

g

3

Prevention of possible violence when in real time. Yup it has been "That Bad" in my lifetime. But it is changing.

Here? Online? I hope others speak up. This construct is falling everywhere.

6

I suspect it may be a version of Stockholm Syndrome, the well-known phenomenon when kidnapping victims develop paradoxical feelings of affection towards those who hold them captive, even if they are subjected to cruel or violent treatment. It's believed to be a form of coping or survival mechanism subconsciously adopted by the victim in an effort to avoid punishment by forming an alliance with the aggressor.

Jnei Level 8 Nov 25, 2018
5

all the thousands of years of forced submisiveness to man! Religions were invented to keep them and the poor in their place

3

Internalized sexism?

Probs. Like internalized homophobia.

7

That's a damned good question, and something I've also been asking for a really long time.
I've never understood women who willingly (and often, gladly) throw their sisters under the bus for defying men and the patriarchy.
I've found it's primarily women who believe in gods. It's not exclusively them, of course, but it's primarily them. They are extremely resistant to anything that threatens their idea of the status quo, their comfort zones.
They'll demonize anyone who makes waves. They'll go out of their way to eliminate anyone they perceive as a threat.

That's as close as I've ever gotten to an explanation. I couldn't even venture a guess as to a solution.

What's even worse are women who'll defend their men, even though they have been beaten by them in the past. That's the "perceived security" I was alluding to.

@godef The domestic violence aspect of the issue is a whole other facet.

@KKGator I actually thinks it's all related. Women accept abuse because they want to protect their perceived security. And seeing other women lash out at men makes them feel more vulnerable to their own man, as if it may further justify the next beating.

@godef That's a reasonable argument.

@CoastRiderBill Truthfully, that letter was a complete waste of time. It didn't get through to anyone. And, Kavanaugh was still confirmed.

7

Security. Or should I say perceived security?

godef Level 7 Nov 25, 2018
3

I saw that in the Roy Moore election and was baffled by it. Some adult women were actually defending him and his pursuit of young teenage girls as if that's a normal thing.

Yup that was horrifying!

2

i have not noticed women attacking women who stand up to men. my female friends support women who stand up to men (and so do i), assuming you mean standing up to men who are bullying or otherwise oppressing them and not just arguing with some guy who may or may not be right about whatever issue is being discussed. on what do you base this observation? it is the opposite of my own observations.

g

I too would duspute this whole premise.

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