I make friends more easily as an adult than I did as a kid. I think it depends on the groups/communities you spend a lot of time in. Mine are musicians that I've met at Irish sessions, bluegrass jams, or through students

why would anyone tell me the lie that making friends as an adult is awful? i've made wonderful, longlasting friends as an adult. i have also reconnected with many friends from my youth, and some are indifferent, some are great and some just grew up to be really messed-up people. there is nothing magic about when you make the friend. the magic is in who the friend is.

g

Friendships last as long as they are supposed to.

The friends I have now are people I met through my volunteer and non-profit work
I’m not one to socialize with work people as I don’t like to talk shop 24/7 and you can’t really be yourself with co-workers.

If you haven’t held onto your friends from youth, there’s probably a reason.

I hear ya. Add that I'm an introvert... I need an extrovert to adopt me as a friend, I suck at initiating!

I out grew all my friends from high school. They are mostly poor, uneducated republicans. I live in the sticks, for city folks, that's out in the boonies or
Rural america. Groups? I started bee keeping as a hobby, I joined the local beek group. They have a pot luck dinner at every meeting, which is started with a prayer. I go just to try and learn the bee business, but it is tough. The closest free thinkers club is over a hour away. 5k pop. And we have about 20 churches within 20 mile radius. I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

Perhaps finding a hobby or interest to share with others will help you find new friends. I like playing pool (pocket billiards) and have made many friendships through our shared interest. Contrary to popular opinion, pool players are not all disgusting people. There are many possibilities: book clubs, nature walking, cooking, dancing, freethinkers, atheist groups, and many more. You could checkout meetup.com and search in your area for groups that may interest you.

The worst thing that can happen is to have your spouse as your only friend. If it ever ends, you are in for a world of misery. My spouse was also my best friend since 1997. When we got divorced in 2016, it was hell. I thought we would be together forever. Make more friends, make your own friends. You need more than just your spouse and shared friends. Trust me.

I know what you are going through. After moving overseas and then back to a different state I have no one except my wife for a friend.
We have people we are friendly with but they don’t invite us out or over to their house and we don’t either. We just don’t connect on a deeper level.