@Ms_McSteven but why work at banning the song from the radio? What is the logic of a restraining order if after a situation like the two scenarios shown above neither protaganist makes further approach?
It is like the absurdity frequently offered in court by women -

Woman demanding restraining order off magistrate - "he looked at me like he wanted to fuck me there and then!"

"Yes madam. Which part of his mind did you also read to ascertain his desire or was it yours that you projected on to him?" asked the magistrate.

@FrayedBear

I see no problem with the song and appreciate that was part of the game back then, whether it meets today's standards of asserting oneself or not.

A see old movies where teenagers aren't wearing seatbelts, hanging out of car windows and putting themselves at risk. We would never send a message that's okay, now, but I don't want to ban all movies with beltless scenes in them.

If a man makes it clear to me that he wants to have sex with me, I've clearly said no and he persists, that would really be a problem based on how we've evolved.

That's true for women too. We also needed to learn how to communicate clearly in all situations. If women are truly liberated, it is a woman's prerogative to playfully say no whenever she wants, even now. If she senses she's in danger, that's a whole different scenario. This song is clearly not that.

@Ms_McSteven Having just watched the video there are two versions one featuring a man and one a woman. Is this what is described as not being able to see the elephant in the room?

@Athena Sixty years ago we were not taught how to communicate. I wonder if children are today?

Thank you for your rational response.

@Ms_McSteven Does that prove that women are greater teases and free loaders out for meals, drinks, night clubs and theatres?

@Ms_McSteven Please tell me where in this sub thread I talk about inviting people to dinner?
Is someone messing with what you are reading in this sub thread? Where do you read that I suggest that "You get to rape her for eating." And
"You claimed there are times when grown men might "need" to have sex with a child," ?
The latter being particularly ridiculous as I think I am probably the only person on this site who advocates that you do not need another person, limbs, erection, sex toys, clitoral stimulation or hands to achieve satisfactory orgasm.

Isn't it just. And they think that they are correct. Shake of head.

I commented on this before reading your answer. I agree!

Not even history, it's misrepresentation for current dogma.

@FrayedBear

I've not seen this version where roles are swapped. It presents a double standard that I don't agree with. No one would take issue with this if, in the lyrics, if the woman was playfully persuading the man to stay.

Also, men often feel pressure to perform and always be in the mood for sex. If they don't, or aren't, they are ridiculed by women who will used all kinds of disparaging language. It has to work both ways or it won't work at all.

@Athena I posted at the beginning a dual version. Obviously not many have bothered to watch right through the two versions at

I thank you for identifying how catty women are regarding men's performance but sadly do not understand that they have as much responsibility for ensuring their partner's pleasure as he does theirs.

@FrayedBear

Thank you. I did watch it to the end and saw both versions.

I am extremely sensitive to the people who are triggered by all this, but I would also be remiss not to mention the struggle that decent men are having, regarding their fear of making women uncomfortable. We have and do give a lot of mixed messages. It's fair to recognize that, and also to notice how men must be terrified to have their interest, comments or actions misconstrued.
We all know of cases where attacks on men are warranted, and in other cases unfair.

When speaking with people who have been sexually assaulted or are in pain over loved ones who have been, the best thing is to acknowledge their pain and move on. It is a horrible thing to live with.

@Athena thank you for the advise. My own experiences are ignored which does result in some interesting flare up that I try very hard not to let result in ad hominem response. Namaste

See above.

And besides which the full video clip of the song is anything but discriminatory but no doubt the me tooers are blind to the elephant in the room in the second part of the song.

Have you watched the clip of the song that won the Oscar?

@FrayedBear your point is?

@hippydog Your authoritive statement is not evidenced.

@FrayedBear oh.. lol.. then I forgot to add imo at the end..
But I guess having the conversation itself is not a bad thing.

Me too. I have experienced my share of harassment in my lifetime. But I love this song. Also, I had no idea Joseph Gordon-Leavitt could sing. It makes me like him all the more.

@pasha-one-nine Well at least you know that you are desired by someone hopefully other than a sheep shagger looking to hear human noises rather than baa baa baa?