If it hurts the uncle us being a dick if it doesn't it's male bonding

Trying to picture it, but no, totally unfamiliar.

I've noticed it , but I think it does nothing for or against anyone , unless it was intended to . . . ?

Dad's are in charge of roughhousing. I did it with both my son and daughter.

But, I would not do it if it was abusive or made either child feel belittled. I certainly did not thing I was toughening them up.

It was just a way to show love.

I prefer other rituals such as changing a tire,working on a sink, working on the yard, putting together furniture. Things that will actually be useful in the long term.

I have always associated that to bullying and asserting dominance, the ones that did that in my family were the older brothers or cousins usually out of boredom. In my family adult males didn't behave like that, the closest thing to it was a tickle or a light poke in the ribs more as a gesture of affection than anything else.

It's fine if it's just roughhousing, but if the intent is subjugation or intimidation then it is wrong. I think that a light amount of teasing might be of benefit to teaching control of temper, as well.

If it is painful or humiliating between peers then that is solidly in the bullying category.

I ruffle my son's hair and it irritates him...but then I usually laugh or give him a hug.

I did have cousins that would do stuff that was directly mean, and my friends brother choked me till I passed out. Solidly bullying behavior. It did surprise him though, because he had so many years of Judo that he expected me to tap out. I didn't know that at the time though.

I doubt that any of it is really necessary or helpful.

Socializing/enculturing masculinity or, as I like to call it, male emotional constipation.

My last boyfriend did that to my youngest son. I told him never do it again and he explained that he needed to toughen up or he would grow up to be a wuss. I replied that if he did it again I would file assault charges on him. He stopped after that but not after telling me that was how he was raised and he turned out fine.

Funny thing, he's the one in prison at the moment.

I might have had the hair ruffling thing very occasionally, and only from one particular uncle. None of the other stuff. I could have done without the hair ruffling but it didn't bother me much. I was brought up in Northern Ireland.

This is the kind of thing I do to my mother's male cat: light hazing. It's a way for me to say "I'm bigger than you, I'm older than you, I have more status than you, and I could flatten you if I wanted to--but I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna abuse you, or ignore you; I'm gonna pay attention to you--which is my way of conferring status on you, actually--while reminding you of my status. You should be grateful.". My mother's cat adores me, btw.

Not sure if it works exactly the same way in humans...

I used to roughhouse with teen guys when I was growing up..they'd sometimes swing us younger kids in circles while holding us by the heels, then let us fly. We'd crash across the grass, then jump up and run back for more.

But overall, any boy who laid a hand on me against my will was going to have scars to show for it.

I've seen young men do the "Noogie" thing.

But in my family we just ruffled hair. No neck hold. And I seem to remember I know a move to counter that one?

Nope, not really....
But Bruce Springsteen used to get that from his uncle all the time ????

It’s not to toughen anybody up. It’s a display of affection. The boys don’t like it because it’s not manly. Every guy that I’ve ever known has gone through it.

My uncle did it with my two cousins male and female but they walked all over him literally. My cousin Michele would climb up her father and do backward somersaults again and again.

Sure, happened all the time. Couldn't wait for it because it meant someone was going to give me a nickel. And that someone was actually paying attention to me. I never considered this to odd or to anything but showing love.

What's the big deal. I don't even remember if at all it happened. Of course, they play with the kids hair. Its fun. Nothing more than that. I do not know about arm around the neck thing. That friends do to each other. But I do not see anything serious in it.

Never personally experienced it and, predictably, never inflicted it on my son. The closest I came was a quick affectionate hug, which, beyond a certain age, was awkward / not really wanted. But a parent reserves the right to insert themselves anyway. My wife's equivalent is to kiss her (now 25 year old) son's "lucky spot" on the crown of his head. He submits to it dutifully.

What you're describing is what I've heard called a "Dutch rub". I think it's a sort of extension of "roughhousing" types of male play and it probably is a way to show physical affection that's somewhat deniable, as men have been historically socialized not to be "touchy-feely" or nurturing or "sensitive".

It's a nuggie. You wouldn't understand. It just is...It means you belong. It means , hey I take you as being on my level but I need to show you I'm still on your level. It's a right of passage with none of the dominant type A crap that people associate with it.