Well I told my family that I am no longer participating in the gift giving part of Xmas (I'd rather give gifts for their birthdays) . My 24 year old niece said "I knew it was only a matter of time before you stopped participating, but that's ok I understand."

I think it's ok to still celebrate with them even if they believe differently than you. If you don't like gifts, then you can request they give to some charity you care about that wouldn't be against their beliefs either (something neutral). You can request no gifts, but sometimes people will give them anyway and it can feel awkward.

Just because you have a enlightened view of Christmas that is no reason to give up the social convention of gift giving during the holidays. Remember that Christmas was derived from the pagan ceremony hence the tree. Unless you want to cut down on expenses, the by all means cheap out!

I’ve negotiated a Christmas amnesty with half of my family - it does relieve a lot of stress. Giving gifts is nice if you know what someone likes or needs, but to do it out of guilt or social coercion is just silly.

I've felt this way for years and fortunately all the adults in my family know this. I do buy for the small children and give cash or gift cards to the older kids but no grown ups and beg them not to buy for me. Sometimes they still do. I wish they would not.

Good luck...