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I'm a widow and I'm not planning to take off my wedding ring. But I'd like to talk to guys and maybe hookup. I am not looking for a long term relationship.

What are your opinions/advice on this? Thank you.

Dancing 7 Dec 27
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24 comments

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7

I suspect your wedding ring wouldn’t stop anyone committed to hooking up, especially if you meet online first, when the ring wouldn’t be visible unless it’s in a photo. If it seems a hurdle, might you wear it on your other hand?

UUNJ Level 8 Dec 27, 2018
6

"What are your opinions/advice on this"

condoms.. have fun..

6

If you're open and honest about your intentions and needs you'll find men that are good fits for those needs.

Of course, there will be a ton of chaff to sift through first, but the men you're looking for are out there.

I also reccomend you make the first move in initiating contact. I know that a woman will always get a lot more messages on a daily basis then I will receive. I don't want to add to that overwhelming cacophony so I usually don't. All the best connections I've made online have started with the women reaching out first anyway.

Good luck!

6

I have to imagine that wearing a ring would be more of a deterrent than many on here believe (or maybe I'm naive, I don't know...). If I'm correct (if), you may have to lean more toward being the initiator. I know that personally, I would be very unlikely to approach a woman wearing a ring. But maybe I'm in the minority..?
I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope that you find happiness.

For me I think the ring is a turnoff.

4

Just be honest about it, why you are wearing it, what you are looking for. And we all have needs, you are harming no one.

4

I think you should do what feels right to you. If you're being honest about where you are with who you're with, I see no harm in that. Do your rhing!

3

If you are not looking for a long term relationship, leave the ring on. Most guys will think they are making a significant score.

3

If your worried about some guy seeing it on your hand perhaps put it on a necklace and wear it that way.

3

Sorry for your loss, and happy to hear you are available for us dogs. Enjoy yourself and hope you scratch through a few lines on your bucket list while you are unrestricted by a long term relationship. You are never to young to start a bucket list, and never too old for a relationship.

3

A ring would not bother most folks ,would it bother you if a guy wore one?

3

You should do whatever makes you happy. Whatever puts a smile on your face. Ring won't matter.

1

You reach out to who you are interested in, they will not care about the ring. My advise as a woman is be very careful, there are a lot of dangers out there. Always have a friend you let know you are meeting someone. First meets should always be in a public place. Have a plan if things are not going well, go to the restroom and text your friend to call you and make up something so you have to leave. Never ride with them in their car, take your own and fallow them to where this play is going to take place. Let your friend know where that will be and set a time that you are going to call her and check in, no text, to easy that that could be from someone else. Take the mans picture and a picture of his license plate, if he is not ok with that than do not go any place with him. Add please use condoms, always! Stay safe and have fun.

1

Being a widow/widower is tough. Been there, done that (she died in '77). You have courage just being here. If any guy you talk to is offended by the ring just cut him off/stop seeing him; it's a sign he doesn't "get it". Take your time; "indifference" to a loved one lost through death takes many years. If you have children it's extra tough. Be patient; with other "guys" and with yourself.

1

Don't see it as a big problem. Just let them know you're wearing it as a memento, not as a current situation. A guy's gonna notice it for sure.

1

Be cautious and open get to know a guy first

1

@Doraz I'm a widow, I still wear my ring, I've made friends and go out socializing with a few men. I'm enjoying their company and that is all.

1

Be careful. There are plenty of guys out there not looking for long term relationships but you might find they are not very nice people. You may be only looking for a hookup, but you still deserve be treated with respect and dignity.

Thanks for that. Unfortunately in the real world it often doesn't work out that way.

@Kojaksmom So true. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be a man and think the world would be better without them.

@pmar074 well I'm a man hater but it's all for fun. Lol! Human nature is like water. Water flows to the path of least resistance. Unfortunately, the easiest thing for the human-animal to accomplish is a seriously fucked up and extraordinarily complicated life. It happens to the best of us

@Kojaksmom It's a Nature vs Nurture thing. More mothers should nurture their sons by kicking the nature out of them. Lol. I can just picture a cartoon of that. ?

@pmar074 well I don't have kids,but if I did I damn sure would! Lol!

@Kojaksmom The well-trained fathers of the next generation can join in. Exponential progress in humanity... If only!

1

I'm in a similar situation but you have to be happy and enjoy herself too.

1

Round here most of the married / partnered women do not wear wedding rings.

1

Are you close to St. Louis?

0

I also feel that you need to be very honest with yourself about why you want to hook up with men. If you're lonely, hookups, most likely, are not going to do anything for you. If you're just looking for sex and sexual gratification without any emotional response whatsoever, this might be the right thing for you to do. But be very, very careful .you are about to embark on what could be a very dangerous situation.

0

If you ask me, you made a great decision in opting out of additional marriages. Marriage takes away a lot of rights, and it doesn't really grant any additional ones. Forever is a long time. People fall in love, experience some pleasure, grow bored, and seek new passions. Its unreasonable expect someone love you forever until death do you part. And its unreasonable expect yourself satisfy that standard. The true test of love is that two people remain together when nothing is preventing them from separating.

0

Wear it on a different finger? A wedding ring is a sign someone is taken. You may want to try hookup sites to meet men.

0

You are free to do as you wish. How long have you been widowed?

@Doraz seriously. I don't think anyone would really mind if you had a ring on or not.

@Doraz Some outsiders may look at your ring and jump to conclusions. Many people are sooo judgmental, without any evidence at all. Grow a thick skin and be prepared.

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