We do have some control over our own realities - please... don't choose to be miserable and blame it on other people.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.But must we remain on our own to do so.. I rarely feel miserable, but seemingly too often ..devastatingly sad. There must be a difference. Too lazy to remain bitter, with too many variables to lay blame, I’ve come to consider everything as a cog in the cycle of life.
This time, I peeked below ..to see what others had made of this 
Open to answers, it’s rough to find shared pain in so many directions… Given a freedom recent history didn’t afford the generations before us, maybe we’re better off? If the price of a failed marriage is occasional remorse ..is that not better than what appeared to be a life sentence in past years?
All those ‘monkey observations’ leading to conclude ‘forever relationships’ amid primates don’t work … no matter the heartfelt vows still uttered by the innocent..
Dreamt of my longtime former wife last night, anymore, rare. My parents had recently (if separately) commended me on having raised my daughters. But I had help, whether I want to acknowledge it or not.
Scattered thoughts, though always striving toward a healthy, positive reality ~
Varn
Level 8
Jan 15, 2019
2
Agree with you Varn. Better to be done with the life sentence. For me the mourning wasn’t for a failed marriage but rather for the years lost trying to make it work
Great Detail Varn. I never morned over a busted marriage, I always left for a reason. I lamented raising my kids alone because their Mother decided to marry her drug dealer. I lamented the fact she died and by law he got everything we owned. I've been sad over things like that, ..but not the lost marriage.
Varn:
@MerlinZap Thanks.. Lost my home, too. I’d built it, on family land. That hurt more than a marriage that had apparently wore out. But it sounds like we got our kids. At the time, not a curse ..but one hell of an unexpected responsibility...
Anymore, if I run it through my head it’s groping for a reason, an answer … so I won’t make the same mistake again. But it feels, until I find that answer, I may never take such a chance again..
keyword here is SOME. but look at the cartoon. he hasn't got control over his reality. he's delusional. we can sometimes choose with whom to hang out, where to live, what to eat (and sometimes we can't) but we can't function properly if most of our experience relies on pretense. not letting oneself be consumed by misery is good. doing it by convincing yourself that you're napoleon is not so good. blaming your miseries on other people is bad. taking all the blame for things actually done by other people is also bad.
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genessa
Level 8
Jan 15, 2019
2
@HomeAloneSunday unless you're psychic, you can't predict some of this stuff. i mean, even if there were clues... you know what they say about hindsight, right? so give yourself a break and look forward. unless your time machine gets out of the shop, you can't go back and fix it, right?
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@ genessa Yes he certainly seems delusional 
@HomeAloneSunday I had a similar experience with my marriage. It felt like years of my life were lost overnight. In hindsight, I sure wish things had been different but there was a lot to learn about myself even in the midst of the loss. Sounds like you found out you were a caring person - even to your own detriment. There is a lot to admire in a compassionate heart.
@HomeAloneSunday sounds like you have learned a lot. To be honest I was so caught up in what was happening inside my own head that I didn’t use the opportunity to learn much about others in the ways that you refer to. Typically I like to say that I do, but I think in the situation that resulted from my divorce I didn’t do that like I should. I can also say the experience set me back a lot by societal standards. But I have learned a lot about myself so trying to move forward with the benefit gained from that insight since I don’t really expect to make up lost ground. I am sorry you found people to be so judgmental. I’m sure I would have to if I’d been paying attention
@HomeAloneSunday Wings heal, and sounds like you got yourself unstuck. I think sometimes Family can be the most difficult. I am not sure why it is that way
@HomeAloneSunday Nor now,...I'm sure.
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