I'm not worried about legel stuff, just about not knowing how to go about flirting. I guess I could watch a youtube video or something, but I'd rather just connect in an intellectual way.

I think it's become more and more difficult to speak to a woman without seeming like a complete perv. Which is sad, because I think a lot of great things in life can happen spontaneously and at random. The nicest women I have met appeared in my life when I stopped trying to find them.

Probably fear of rejection. I flirt a lot! But never seem to go past that.

I am usually reserved. I hate rejection, so avoid its possibilities as a basic behavior. However, if a woman is friendly, I will respond with like-kind behavior. I will even admit that I like it when a woman pays attention to me - I'm usually responsive (if I'm available). If I'm not available, I'll accept friendship if I find her attractive.

I meet women online like a normal person...

For me to approach a woman IRL, I have to be single and there would have to be some serious signals going on. If she said no, I'd back off.

The #MeToo movement just shows how MANY women deal with aggressive sexual approaches daily. It doesn't in anyway make men who DON'T do it a target of having to be afraid of women.

This "I don't know how to approach women now" sounds like, "geez if I can't tell her to suck my dick, how am I gonna let her know I liker her".

I feel both sexes and all orientations should get comfortable with just being open about expressing interest and not heaping it on men to be intiators. Some men who have said that to me, I have said, "approach a woman like you would any male". If you think you want to be friends with a guy, do you walk up and pet his dick, or ask him to look at yours? Or, is it ok to grab and kiss a guy you want to be friends with and just met, or follow him in your car, or walk to close to him in a grocery. NO? Good, you know the rules, don't do it to women either.

Lmao that is so weird, i don't think its that bad tbh, especially if you do it in a place where people usually go to try and find a date

Isn't there just being yourself and body language?

Simple fix: be the person you would want your child/sibling/parent to date. Problem solved.

It's not hard.

Some men overcompensate, for sure, but perhaps now may be the time for women to take the lead in the 'game' of relationships between the sexes? Must it always be that men are the pursuer, as if women were a trophy? Why can't we view predatory men as the insecure beasts that they are, while lauding aggressive behavior by women? I'm more than ready for the lionesses to do the hunting. And what straight male wouldn't appreciate the Mae West approach? "Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" or "I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure."

I think #metoo is a crusade against men more than it is A platform for equality. A lot of those people were just asked out or complimented. I think speaking up is a great thing. I just don't feel safe approaching women anymore. I got pepper sprayed once for telling a woman that I liked her dress. I had to wait there, eyes burning until the cops came. They let her go even though I wanted to press assault charges. I never touched her, and all I said was "I like your dress, the color looks nice on you." That's what metoo and neofeminism has done to some people.

Yes. It now seems best to have your attorney present before any romance commences

I am shy with this sort of thing and it's precisely because what you said. I'm afraid that if I do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing it will end badly for me.

Did he ask you to GIVE him a cup of coffee, or to have one with you? If the former he may simply have had some bad experiences with people being threatened by (or just being rude to) a beggar. If the latter, maybe he was in the habit of approaching total strangers with no context with such offers and doesn't understand how that might be viewed with some suspicion. Either way he probably was socially inept and not entirely sure what he did wrong.

Since I don't see most men acting like the woman has a gun when introducing themselves, I conclude that this particular incident wasn't related to #metoo. In fact ... you say it was "at the time" when you were 30 or so, so it was probably before the #metoo phenomenon, right? I mean, that's less than a year old.

Yep

I think it depends on where the niceties take place. I can't really stand the idea of being nice to women at work because of fear. It is easier at a bar. Life was easier in high school when I wasn't afraid to hit on my fellow students. I had a gorilla pimp friend who would walk up to a single girl and just make out with her. He was ugly but it worked sometimes.

Men don't approach me.

Fear of rejection maybe, at least in my experiences

Look up the word 'femicide'. Women are murdered simply because they are women. Unfortunately the men who hate women this much don't wear labels, so it's impossible to tell who's who.

This is why so many women are fearful. The threat is always there and this car situation sounds creepy. It reminded me of Ted Bundy.

Men need to be mindful of this context and they need to prove that they're genuine. This is not the fault of the genuine man. Genuine men are paying the price for the minority of haters that are out there.

LoL... I think the men that "are afraid of approaching women" as a result of the "me too" movement, probably are the ones that should be afraid! Seriously, it's not that hard to be respectful and attentive to the person you are with. Maybe they need to go read some articles on the internet if they really are clueless... hint, I don't mean the articles that have titles like "How to make any woman sleep with you"... ha ha ha.

There is absolutely a fear of men in a lot of women. I think this is a new thing, but some women seem to think the only men who aren't serial rapists are murderers. I don't see this as only a problem with males. This fear is almost completely irrational but instead of being a mental illness it is supported by society. An entire gender is being judged by some of our worst examples.
The point is a cat lady who can barely leave the house isn't due to men and girls who freak out by approach or even persistence are responsible for their feelings not some guy hitting her up.

I tend to try and be cautious because I'm a pretty big guy and I always get told that I look mean. I don't want to scare women, especially when it's just me and the woman in a certain area with nobody else around. I've felt this way before Weinstein and Cosby though lol

The argument is not all women are like this. But that is akin to saying " here put your hand into this basket full of snakes, and don't worry only one of them is venomous." Feminism and or metoo movements will remove the problem or interactions between the sexes, partly as result of feminism, the birthrate in the west is at a rate that will see it disappear of the face of the planet. And what will be left may not have quite the sympathetic view that is currently enjoyed by females in our culture. be careful what you wish for. Does anyone find it an oxymoron, that in a time when are under a constant barrage about female rights and freedoms the top selling book amongst women in the past 50 years is "Fifty Shades of Grey"

This post has two distinctly different components. The second part deals with men and women who know each other or at least are aware of each other's identity. I cannot add anything to what has already been said.

As for the first part, you are very fortunate. I do not know how to put this any other way, but abduction from a parking lot is an all too common modus operandi for violent sexual predators. While attending college a classmate was abducted from a mall parking lot and murdered. Ted Bundy, one of the most infamous serial killers in recent history was a handsome, articulate, prelaw student. His M O. was putting a fake cast on one of his arms, asking a woman for assistance, and then abducting her in his vehicle. He did this numerous times in busy parking lots before he was apprehended. Always lock your car, always check the back seat, and always look around before you get in. It is better to be safe.

I sure do.