I think that when a woman spends a certain amount of time without a man, she'll very often become comfortable with herself and be happy with it rather than trying to be what society tells herself she ought to be in order to get a man - I know quite a few who, after 40 or more years of marriage, having discovered that living by and for herself is really not so bad after all.

As I see it, you really don't need a man - no woman does, and society only insists that a woman needs a man because society is patriarchal and men do need women (look at people who divorce in late middle age: the woman usually develops various hobbies and interests and never looks back; many men give up, eat bad food, drink too much and have heart attacks). Of course, if you find a man with whom you'd like to spend the rest of your life, then great - but you really don't need one, and nor does any other woman.

Have fun!

That realization among women, that you are at least as well off without us, is the most terrifying concept imaginable to a lot of men.

Good for you!!!
Knowing what you don't want is every bit as important as knowing what you do want.

Yeas some people need a man/woman like a fish needs a bicycle.

I admit, it's been quite a journey I wasn't expecting. A lot of self-discovery here - even when I wan't looking for others or myself. But I completely understand.

I'm right there with you. But I fluctuate. Sometimes I want someone, other times I relish in my singleness. I'm going to university right now, and I'm taking 14 hours this semester, trying to lose weight, and trying to work a little. I barely have time for what I need/want to do, let alone someone else!

Well...you shouldn't NEED a man, just WANT one if you're in the market for a companion. So what makes you cringe just getting a message from a person, who might actually be a nice and interesting human to chat with?

After 43+ years of marriage cancer took my wife. I have been alone for 4 years now and find that adapting to being alone has not been easy. Cooking for 1 has difficult as has been doing the things that I used to share. There is a certain freedom in being alone since I am only responsible for my self and what I choose to involve myself in. At the same time being alone at various community, social and group activities is difficult. And even at quiet times I find myself missing the company of a woman.
One thing I have found is that as we age and experience different life events it is not always easy or comfortable adapting to someone with different experiences and routines.With differing temperaments and activity levels it seems easier to find a friend than a partner.
But since we are social animals maybe having friendships rather than partnerships, conversations rather than courtships would help satisfy the need for opposite gender contact.

It is funny because I was just thinking the same opposite. It would be hard not to have someone you can goof around with daily and call your best friend and be the last person you talk to at night and the first person you talk to in the morning. I guess I am lucky.

I feel exactly the same way after being divorced for almost 10 years I love being single so much that I have no desire to deal with somebody else's Needs & Wants

There is one girl in this site I want to know personally, she knows, but well, she is to busy at work and both of us would need to travel XD
I don't see here so much as a relationship place, I just talk with people that I find ideas interesting and if something happen it would be as it happens if we had met in other ways.

I'm excited to re-discover love again at some point. The clock is ticking, and I'm at the best point in my life that I've even been. The next time though will be different with more conversations about realistic expectations, role definition and goals...if the relationship becomes that tight. Marriage most likely won't happen again as its too much of a crushing complication...one that I'll most likely be less able to tolerate as I age. My two divorces were E-X-P-E-N-S-I-V-E because of changing laws where judges had the right to disagree and throw out previously agreed upon 'settlements' between the parties, and those resources cannot be replenished anymore if it were to happen again. There simply has to be another way to show your love and devotion for your partner other than entering into cohabitation where common law laws mimic divorce laws closely, or a marriage that will ruin you when you can least deal with it as you age.

I fully agree with you we all get used to being alone but a little bit of company at times can be nice as well as long as it doesn't interfere with your routine

maybe creating barriers? Afraid of being hurt once more? But please don't think one day "I should have" or "Missed chances",and "What might have been".

Your post is a great way to meet even more men! If you really didn't want a man in your life, then you wouldn't have posted such a letter. Hm? Good luck!

Dang nab it. Well, that's a little heartbreaking. I was just about to put my smooth moves on you and sweep you off your feet. What am I going to do with all these chocolates flowers gifts I've considered buying and poems I've considered writing? Next time I'm not going to wait a year anonymously gazing at your angelic visage to make my move. My shyness at talking to a beautiful woman always holds me back. I should screw my courage up and just talk but as a gentleman, I never know what to say, how to break the ice. I know that some impolite and immature guys just come right out and say, Hey, show me your boobs, but that's just something I could never picture my self doing because we all know that never works. How stupid can men be? Oh well, live and learn. ??

Stay with that thought?

I think anyone who has been alone as long as we have (10+ years for me) has come to the same conclusion. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. I can function fine alone, but would like a companion to share things with, travel etc...

Does it mean that I don't want passion/romance? No. It simply means I am willing to settle for less now.

I would prefer to living together as a matter of simple economics: it's cheaper for both of us to live together than to maintain separate residences. For those who shy away from that, the perfect solution might be to purchase a duplex where each could maintain their own space.

As for me, I'm tired of just trying to make ends meat while co-habitating couples I know are taking trips to Cabo and such.

I've been separated for months. Online stuff just isn't working out for me. It's weird, because I just turned 65, yet have the body of a 50 yr old, or better. Can't convey that shit online. And I take a crappy picture, which is worse yet.
My friends all say I'll meet somebody, when I'm not looking.
Probably true.

Maybe try thinking , until proven otherwise, anyone one who messages you, is neither male nor female? Ie: do you cringe when a female contacts you?