Love is mutual giving. ....if that is what you want and what your lover wants it should be obvious that is what you both have. ....if relationships are not openly negotiated that way. ...this question belies less intentional activity and impulsive behaviors by both of "you"

Most users are quite good at concealing their motives, but paying attention to little things will clue you in .

Most users are quite good at concealing their motives, but paying attention to little things will clue you in .

I'm sure you have people in your past who fit into either category. Can't you compare them to whoever you might be talking about now? Do you not trust your own judgement? Maybe get an opinion from somebody in your life who is more perceptive or has enough distance to see what is really going on. Good luck.

Listen to your heart. Okay, that probably doesn’t know either.

Ya never know, I guess that is what makes it interesting..

You cannot

The Shadow - "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men (and women)? The Shadow knows... "

They'll do things not necessarily in their best interest just to help or please you. You'll find you FEEL genuinely cared about. It's all in the little stuff. Do they go out of their way to make time for you? Do they do little nice things without you asking or even thinking of it? Do they listen? Do they answer when you call?

How do they treat others? Their siblings? Their children? Their past loves? The homeless guy? Their neighbor's dog?

Would you have any reason to believe they'd treat you any differently?

Some people are very good at hiding their true agenda. It is very hard. Only the people you trust can betray you. Remember that.

When you figure that out please let me know.

I agree, the eyes tell the story. Also body language. Some people are better than others.

Sorry but you can't......wish we could but I lived with my wife/mate for 40 yrs......she devorcied me.....
.

It is a "tough" one. To me those who care... will be there for me in the good and the bad. They are never upset at me for long. They forgive and forget. They want to see me do well and good always. They will give me their last shirt. When you mention using you... I don't know if they are "relatives", "friends", "lovers", "soon to be ex husband saying still cares about you". There are so many layers of interaction between humans. Sometimes we allow others to use us if that make us happy in some shape or form. I got 2 daughters accusing each other of being a great manipulator... siblings!!!! Those who care will always be consistent... they will look at you in the eye... you will feel their warmth toward you. Those I care about... I want to see them sleeping... when you sleep, when you surrender without fear feeling safe... If you wake up and you realized he been sitting looking at you sleep for a while... that is a man that cares about you.

Everything is in the eyes. I don't know if I can explain it any more than that... I can tell what people are thinking and feeling from their eyes, so I just pay attention to whether it matches up with their words and actions and other non-verbals.

You can't. You have to trust some people, sometimes. At a certain point you have to take it as the cost of being in a relationship.