Working Monday - Sunday grinding in my profession: barely livable slave labor. Writing this on an overcrowded bus headed to the Bronx; I notice several people staring at me (I have the whitest complexion on this bus).
Did I ever think growing up I’d be in this position...probably not. Last year I was in college with high future aspirations... now I’m eating frozen vegetables & rice trying to save every penny. I work multiple jobs and I still barely make the rent. Simply put, I’m unhappy.
Growing up somewhat middle class on the west coast, I’ve experienced both sides of the spectrum, rich & poor. I was sheltered in the moutains for most of my life; nothing would have prepared me for the city that never sleeps. I’ve seen poverty & people suffering in cities, but the insanity here blows my mind everyday.
People here have an insane disconnect from nature, everyone looks stressed and sick. They are all busting their butts trying to keep their head & their family’s above water.
Had a homeless dude enter my train on the subway yesterday. He had no shoes (in the winter time mind you) and it looked like there was multiple tumors coming out of his face. The way he spoke everything was slurred...maybe from too much N Bomb...
“Does anyone have a heart?!”
Nobody even made eye contact.
He was in a state of desperation for food, yelling and approaching people. I don’t personally carry change as I found myself giving out too much to the homeless I didn’t have.
He approached me as I was the only one who braved eye contact.
“You sir are the only one who’s made eye contact. Do you have a fucking heart? I’m fucking starving!”
I couldn’t come up with the right words. I couldn’t come up with any words. Looking into his eyes felt like he was gazing into my soul. I feel horrible now not saying anything, but then again this only one of at least fifteen homeless encounters I experience daily.
Welcome to 2019. The climate temperatures and water rises, the population rises, poverty rises, disease rises. Deathworld is the harsh reality for future generations, our kids and grandchildren will suffer unless something changes.