..swear my former classroom position was to get/ place stuff in the cabinets lining every side of multiple rooms. Job security, I suppose..

One time in Afghanistan, this really tall Royal Marine Sergeant Major saw me standing on a bench to write my brief notes in the box near the upper corner. He decided to take the piss on me. "I didn't think you'd be able to write up there!"

Without missing a beat I replied, "Well, I was educated in America."

Chefs are evil bastards.

Got the hell out of food service years ago. Don’t miss it one little bit. I’d rather shoot myself in the head than go back to that. Too many substance abusers and lazy assholes who don’t show up for work most days and are useless even when they do.