Men don't like intelligent women...........well I knew THAT! lol
[curiousmindmagazine.com]
I have downloaded the research study and if anyone is interested in this they can pm me. I can't post it because it's against my library guidelines. sorry about that. Limitations to the study include age group (undergraduates). And as someone already mentioned I want to see more research across different cultures ie my own country. I do find it interesting tho that while the guys were attracted to the smart women from a distant abstract way, when it came to meeting them they were less attracted after finding out the woman had a higher IQ. But as I say......they're merely boys. More research required.
Just as there needs more research into whether women are still attracted to big strong men. evolutionary genetics are hard to ignore.
"You need to dumb down your conversation," a man told me within 10 minutes of meeting. "Men are intimidated by your intelligence and class." I was appalled.
"Speak for yourself," I replied crisply. "Obviously, you are intimidated by my intelligence. I refuse to act stupid to mollify the insecure ego of a sexist man." SLAM DUNK.
Thanks, dear! He was a dinosaur.
@LiterateHiker and fifty bucks say's he was a trump supporter.
Slam dunk?
Often we think of a great response a day later. I feel proud of being articulate, calm and clear by saying:
"I refuse to act stupid to mollify the insecure ego of a sexist man."
"Slam dunk" celebrates the moment.
Men of quality actually prefer intelligent women...it might rank higher than anything else especially as one gets older...
The article says "fragile" male ego...what woman of intelligence wants anything to do with that?
yes I think you're right.
there is nothing better than some robust debating to keep the spark alive!
i want a smart female companion
@MsDemeanour Debate yes, condescending behavior no. Just because there is a lot of energy and momentum does not mean you should be together.
I am not a fan of blanket statements, or judgments.
@creative51 THey weren't blanket statements.....statements were based on research studies. One was a metadata referring to 5 different studies [journals.sagepub.com] and another metadata analysis reviews 6 research studies. [journals.sagepub.com] Sorry it doesn't have all the conclusions there. Sage is reputable and I will access it thro my library to ensure the results cos I am interested in this. I am not about to base my personal opinion against robust research.
@MsDemeanour Why are people wasting time and money with these studies? Why does it matter?
Seriously, I don't get it. It's all just opinion.
@KKGator What you think of human behaviour is your opinion.The article is not the writers opinion, it was based on research studies. Personally I think human behaviour is fascinating. ANd it isn't a waste of time if it gives us greater understanding of what is happening socially.
@MsDemeanour I wasn't referring to the writer's opinion. I was referring directly to the opinions of those who were interviewed for the studies.
You are correct, however, what I think of human behavior IS my opinion.
My opinion of humans isn't very high. Studying human behavior has only solidified my opinions on that front.
@KKGator *My opinion of humans isn't very high. Studying human behavior has only solidified my opinions on that front.
Yes it IS depressing, but I remain hopeful in a more tolerant younger generation.
@MsDemeanour I hope you are not disappointed.
@creative51 Yes. I know that. I can cite my father who was proud of my mother's intellect. I can also vouch for my husband and 4 sons. And when I think of my male friends, they too are all comfortable with intelligent women. But my friends are chosen because of what they think. Just remember half your country voted for an imbecile over a woman, albeit there were other factors than just her sex. I wonder tho how much gender played a part.
Hey I'm soft, fragile, feminine and intelligent...oops...no wait...oh never mind. One out of 4 ain't bad ?. 'Witty woman is dangerous for the male ego' ...oh shit. Another strike. No wonder I don't date ? By the way I am sick and tired of mens behavior being blamed on DNA and prehistoric survival instincts.......this day and age I call bullshit. And I noticed that two of the studies were conducted by a Lutheran Uni and a Texan Uni.....both hubs of masculine toxicity and insecurity which might explain the results.
thanks for pointing out that limitation to the study. Also since they were undergraduates one might assume a young demographic.
I learned a long time ago that ego is baggage and it is there just to get rid of. The good points, I cannot be insulted as to do so one would have to wait for me to be interested in hearing the comment. People say things, mean things, but I am not responsible for the way they see the world, just in how I react to them. If another person has a strong ego that is their problem not mine.
@MsDemeanour Oh gosh I hope not. My only hope for humanity is with the seemingly open minded and concerned young folk that I have come across.
This doesn't fit the ones I've been with ... good thing too !
Though in anyone's defense, you can want intelligence, and still be turned on by juicy smut !
We are human.
I don't enjoy spending time with people, male or female, who aren't intelligent.
well said.
My experience is that men say they want an intelligent woman, but their definition of 'intelligent' is someone who is smart enough to recognize how smart they are and who doesn't drool on herself. I think intelligent women are also generally independent and strong and I'm not sure which or how many of these traits constitute the turnoff. I know a number of young women physicians in their 30's who make north of a quarter of a million dollars a year who have trouble finding men to date. Why?
Send them my profile.
Because they won't date below their financial or class level with someone like me who would appreciate them. Instead they insist on only dating men at their own level of money and status who probably feel threatened and in competition with them. Men who can easily date someone younger or better looking to be a trophy wife and not any kind of threat or competition to their ego. Some pick mates for their achievement and how impressive their resume sounds when introducing them to friends, family, and at parties. The smarter folks choose according to who values relationships more than achievements and is better at actually doing them than most people are.
@TomMcGiverin Actually, the ones I've spoken with are looking for someone in an entirely different field -- like an artisan. They're not willing to support someone, but beyond that they don't care how much money a man makes. They want a supportive partner who can handle their crazy schedules.
@ladyprof70 The part about schedules makes sense, but I'm skeptical about your statements regarding men's occupation being that typical of female docs. And even so, it says that they will not date a blue collar or service worker (no matter how well educated or intelligent), even if he can support himself. Probably because that would sound too embarrassing to their high income, upper class friends. As always, money or social class rear their heads in the selection process.....
@ladyprof70 @TomMcGiverin It is no more true for women than it is for men about who makes the most $. Our previous Prime Minister (a woman) had a partner ( shock horror they weren't married) and he was a hair dresser.
@ladyprof70 I can be "like an artisan". Neck beard, black sweaters and an old old Prius.
@MsDemeanour I guess I didn't make my point clearly. It seems to me that 'smarts' are more important to smart women than education. For example, I have a number of advanced degrees and for a while I dated a really smart truck driver with a high school education.. He had read more of the classics than I had. While it isn't always true, people tend to gravitate toward people who are similar. People who value education tend to get more. And more education tends to open more doors career-wise.
My experience, like the other women here, has been the opposite as well. Most men I know prefer intelligent strong independent women. Well, except my older brother. He has said he wants a woman who is totally not like me, meaning a woman who is meek and submissive, dumb enough to be easily controlled.
Controlling another is a lot of work and the reward is not worth the effort. I would much rather know people who can think and discuss. If you want a good return on your effort allow freedom.
@dalefvictor My older brother has always been a controlling person. He controlled our lives since childhood. He controlled my parents and they allowed him to abuse all of us. It’s not a surprise what kind of woman he would want to be with.
@graceylou At some point doesn't this just get old and tiring. I hope you have been able to remove yourself from that, no one deserves that.
@dalefvictor I don’t iive close to them. Once in awhile I hear from my family but otherwise I’m not often in the wind.
@graceylou Bad sheep of the family, join the club, the water is fine.
Not only do i like an intelligent woman, but i love a woman that is totally independent. How many women have lost their significant other, then to find themselves not knowing what to do. If my wife is intelligent, then that why she picked me 52 years ago...lol
Independence is good but it also good to do things together and enjoy each others company.
Most men is probably correct. I'd rather a smart woman. And, I feel very badly for the many smart women I have met who dumb down to stay with someone.
BS!
Perhaps some men don't like intelligent women but I ONLY like intelligent women. . . Not that I dislike women who are not highly intelligent but the brighter they are, the more I find them desirable.
Wrong! At least for this man. That's the main thing that drew me to my wife of 35 years.
All other things being present with the woman (common interests, physical attraction that's mutual), I won't date a woman that's not intelligent, emotionally strong, and independent. I'm not attracted to women who don't have these last three qualities. But I concede that my standards are probably not typical of most men on that because I'm not very typical myself and I don't think most men on this site are either. As someone once said, non-believers are a smaller part of the population than gay people, so most of us are very non-conformist and atypical in other ways as well as religion. Another example of this is how I bet choosing not to have kids is probably way more common among the members of this site than among the general pop..
Most women here wouldn't date a man who wasn't intelligent, emotionally strong and independent either. But yes we might all be atypical here.
I take exception to the statement that non-believers are a smaller part of the population than gays. That simply cannot be true.
@MsDemeanour I'm going by the statistics I've read. Gays and lesbians are supposedly about 10% of the population. Agnostics and atheists are supposedly about 2-3% of it.
@TomMcGiverin, @MsDemeanour I'm thinking that both groups are ''coming out'' in increasing numbers. Statistics are hard to compile when people are living in places like Kansas, Missouri, etc.
I will not dispute the article's conclusion. But I see no real support for it either. The single cited study is behind a pay wall. I'm too cheap so it's veracity stays hidden to me.
The article seems to be an indictment of "male fragility". I would posit that a strong capable woman has no need of a frail,emotional,dull and needy man. But swap the roles and the capable man would want to protect (dominate?) the willowy needy woman. It's an easier row to hoe for fulfilling a procreational agenda.
For the capable ambitious woman, there are greater horizons. Motherhood might be but a small priority at the time she is making her sexual selection. It might affect how much effort she wants to devote to a relationship. Studies and career are time consuming for the genuinely ambitious. So two capable ambitious people would find it difficult to align schedules and the resulting frustration leads to second thoughts and cold feet.
I'm going to check out the sources. I found two.
I like people who live their iq and never feel the need to broadcast it, or self-aggrandize.
well at the risk of really making some err most women upset, i would like to state my position. on a four square graph with the upper arrow labeled intelligence and the right arrow labeled ust size, i would dream of being with one at the far end of the graph. of each arrow. but you have to take what you can find. all life is a trade off. hahaha
that's probably because you still play with cars
I could never find any. By definition, only 1.2 or less in a room of 100. They, as all intelligent people (I.Q. 130 or more), are very scarce. I was frustrated in that I did not know where to look...bars were a bust and as an atheist, church was out. I even found way too few in college...most way too young and still college seemed to be the general population of about 1.2 in a room of 100...and those hard to identify or were already taken.
So you infer by that , that men have a higher IQ?
@MsDemeanour Of course not...My point is that very intelligent people are relatively scarce (in the population in general) and finding a very intelligent woman was problematic for a person especially such as myself who did not have many social connections. See my bio...Asperger's Syndrome, High Functioning.
Why do you ask...do you know any?
@dahermit Ah I see you're dilema. Very intelligent people are scarce.
Many of the men here do enjoy intelligent women especially as friends. But I have to conclude when I see all the tits and bums memes posted on MemesRUS that that's what most men are really interested in. Yes I can understand them wanting both. So perhaps a wife to run the house and a mistress to be all fluffy and pink.
Havn't we as women always known this though?
Of course this is not going to be universal. There will always be exceptions. BUT this report is based on empirical evidence. You can have an opinion but what is it worth if it is not backed up with evidence. ANd the research indicates it is contrary to what I would've thought and hoped for but I if I start putting my personal opinion against evidence, I might as well return to religion, horoscope and faked moon landings.