DATERS! Throughout time the first meeting between a man and a woman was called a date. The first meeting between a man and a woman who had never met was called a blind date. All of a sudden, how dare you call it a date, it's a "meet and greet." Kind of like for centuries people just used to be missing, now you have to go missing. Kids used to be punished now they get a time out. So which is it, date or meet and greet and why?
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.The protocol has changed with online dating. Nowadays the first meeting of two people is for coffee in a public place. It is pretty much an informal interview meeting. That is why I call mine coffee meetings. If the first meeting goes well and both people are interested in seeing each other again for something more substantial, like having dinner, seeing a movie, going to a concert, etc., those would be called dates.
Who really cares that much what those occasions are called? I don't. I just know that is the expected protocol these days when two strangers encounter each other on a paid dating site. Before the coffee meeting, the two people always trade a few messages, sometimes they also might talk on the phone some, usually they don't. It's all about the dance of cautiously finding out more about the other person and deciding if there's enough attraction and compatibility to want a romantic relationship with the other person, altho most people prefer to wrap the whole thing in the early stages with the cliches about friendship first, etc..
The difference is, with new friendships between people of the same or opposite sex, that don't involve a dating site, nobody is sizing up the other person early on about whether they could see themselves having sex with the other person. Such a bunch of cliche crap, the whole "friendship first" stuff. It's just a way to indirectly tell men (justly) to back the hell off and slow down on trying to get someone into bed.
TomMcGiverin
Level 8
Feb 10, 2019
1
Guessing this isnt your first rodeo--the need for the "change in protocol" was?
@lerlo In the old days before internet dating, people who connected thru mutual friends or personal ads would meet up for the first time usually on something more substantial than a coffee meeting, since they wouldn't already have the online messaging and profiles to trade info first. They wouldn't know what each other looked like. So with the advent of online dating, the coffee meeting became the natural way to start the in-person process after some info as well as photos had already been exchanged. Women basically set this new protocol since they preferred a relatively brief, safe, public way of meeting for the first time.
@lerlo Far from my first rodeo. I'm old enough that I did voice personal ads, without much success, back in the early 90s for a few years before I met my late wife.
To me, a date is a pre-planned event, where some quality time is spent doing something - dinner/movie/concert/etc.
Whereas a meet n' greet is just getting together for a quick drink, or a walk - enough to look one another over in person, and decide if you want to plan a real date.
As for kid stuff - I'll let parents toss that one around.
evergreen
Level 8
Feb 10, 2019
1
It's a date if you're not already seeing someone. It's a meeting if you're already dating, but keeping your eyes open.
CallMeDave
Level 8
Feb 10, 2019
1
The first meeting might be a job interview. So you have to know the intent of both parties involved.
RavenCT
Level 9
Feb 10, 2019
1
Sorry, but 99% of the time "they" met on a dating site...always romantic intentions, but they still insist it's a meet and greet. While it sometimes feels like a job interview both you and I know what I'm talking about
@lerlo Oh if it's a dating site? It's a date.
I didn't know that was implied. I thought it was any meeting. Big difference.
One is very specific.
Frankly though a first meeting should be that. Unless you've spent a lot of time on the phone etc.. You aren't invested yet. After that you've chosen to remain involved.
It doesn't matter what you call it. It matters how you behave.
Deb57
Level 8
Feb 10, 2019
1
and did someone's behavior cause the attempted name change or can you behave however you want no matter what it's called?
If one does not treat the person with whom they are meeting or dating with respect, does it matter what the assignation is called? Conversely, if two people are mutually enjoying one another's company, does it matter then?
Of the two options, I would prefer to date. I want to already have a mutual and meaningful attraction for the man I'll be sitting across the table from.
To me, a date is when two people have established a romantic, and perhaps, a meaningful interest in each other. You've had intimate conversations about life, goals, sex, and what you want in a relationship prior to your encounter.
To me, a "meet and greet" is when two people have formed a brief interest in each other, but no major connection of feelings. They want to meet to see if something might spark between them that could lead to a date or more.
Both can lead to sex, however.
I'm not much of a dater. If I'm interested in someone, I'll focus on just one person at a time. I don't like talking to multiple people at the same time and sharing my feelings like that. Just one man at a time is enough. My INTJ mindset/ personality kicks in.
SleeplessInTexas
Level 8
Feb 10, 2019
1
@flithyMONKEYmen True, I suppose. I remember staring at a guy once.
We made eye contact as if it was love at first sight, but I just wanted the Carne Asada taco he was holding.
It depends upon whether or not there is romantic intention. If so, that's a date. However, if there's a miscommunication and only one participant has romantic intentions, then it is not a date. And it isn't limited to a man and a woman, you know.
bingst
Level 8
Feb 10, 2019
1
I wondered how long it would take for the gender comment 
Sorry, but 99% of the time "they" met on a dating site...always romantic intentions, but they still insist it's a meet and greet.
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