One of the things that I find interesting is how dependent people can be when it comes to religion. I remember the first days when I denounced the existence of God...or should I write it "god". Either way, it felt as though I'd lost a part of me.

God was everything to me. He (former Christian reference to who God is) was literally my confidant. I literally had someone to talk to when I felt low about myself. He just didn't answer back. It wasn't until I started seeing major discrepancies in the Bible as well as the questions I'd ask in church that made me question his existence. I often viewed him as an imaginary friend back then.

Then, it hit me. Curiosity in college. I asked the question: "Why did I choose Christianity? Surely it's not just me following my parents!" I took a course in religion where a woman who identified as Santerian taught the class. It was an extremely biased class because with everything religion, she compared it to Christianity and how much better the religion was compared to Christianity. I even felt targeted because after I corrected her (big mistake) she continued to act quite petty and take off ridiculous points from my work for minor errors. Oh well, I was smarter than her. I read the course text and learned a lot about Buddhism. I liked how God was not the center and that the whole objective was to live your life in a clean and healthy way that benefited you and everyone around you.

I decided to be one of those hyphenated people. I identified as a Christian Buddhist. It felt great. I felt I was getting more from practicing healthy ways to live my life and it felt like I was getting more out of life. I like how Buddhism is confrontational whereas I didn't get that from Christianity.

Then, I lost my father. Immediately, and without thought, Christianity was useless. I then I dentified as a Buddhist fully. To this day, I credit Buddhist teachings with dealing with the reality of death. I don't care what anyone says, I will still hold those beliefs despite how I identify.

After a while I met a friend in an online group (not here) for Agnostics and Atheists. It was there I learned I was Agnostic, now I identify as Agnostic Atheist. I like how I define myself now because I still consider myself opened minded, yet still grounded.

I still practice Buddhism under the guise that I'm not worshiping a God, but I like the disciplinary aspect of it. It helps keep me in check, if you will.

Just felt like sharing my (non)religious journey to Agnostic Atheism.

(forgive all typos...totally typed all of this on my phone)