We do seek what we lack

It sounds like you made the right choice. I'm quite the oppoisite regarding socializing and small talk. I laughed about your 3 week timeline mostly because that time period is what i call the "representative" time period.

"Wherever you go, there you are". Maybe he'll figure it out eventually.

On the other hand I have to say that no amount of communication helps if it is miscommunication. Sometimes the women in my life have such different recollections of what was actually said -- or such, shall we say, novel interpretations of it -- that I have actually questioned my own sanity at times. A guy can start feeling like some sort of alternative reality is being spun. Beyond a certain point, one ceases to care who is at fault, you just don't want the pain and confusion anymore.

I think a lot of it is just that people have different ways they need to be affirmed to feel special and you have to not project your preferences and needs on them and recognize that their needs might differ somewhat from yours.

Also people respond very differently to various events ... my wife and her daughter for example, when frightened, get angry. That's probably not rare but it's new and weird to me. My wife is currently concerned about my health and it makes her angry at me, which sounds a lot like blame, but it's just a sub-optimal coping mechanism: anger feels like control or Doing Something about a threatening situation. Understanding this has allowed me to not take some of what she says so personally and see it for what it actually is, and respond as if she had calmly stated her concerns in a kind way and told me what she needed. Mind you, I'd still prefer a rational approach, but at least I have figured out how to translate between her actions and what she actually wants.

We men are simple creatures and a great deal of our relationships with the women in our lives feels like this to us ... a great big guessing game with a lot of dangerous and complicated cross-currents and undertows. What we want from our relationships is simplicity and something other than constant intensity.

I throw that out there for whatever it's worth, which may well be nothing. I am not commenting on the specific situation you mentioned, but just more generally on the so-called "battle of the sexes" I guess. Men won't communicate, or shut down around it when it goes off on some seeming tangent, and as a man ... I'm here to tell the ladies, it's no easier for us than it is for you

@ToolGuy My wife is pretty independent so I'm not sure that's a big factor in her thinking. I think she loves me and worries about me and if there's anything unfair to her, it's that she is obliged to worry. At any rate she is happy now that I am addressing the issue through a program of exercise. Quite a bit happier than I am, but that's how the cookie crumbles.