I FOUND HIM!!! I FOUND JESUS!!!
I was waiting for the bus on 67th and Powell in Portland, Oregon...I know, unlikely spot, huh?...and this dude, I guess now I should call him, THEE DUDE...not to be confused with The Dude...asked me if I wanted a hit off his weed pipe...I was like, No Thanks, it's not really my thing....then he hit me with it...He said,"Names Jesus. What's yours?" I then looked at him....long hair, beard, 'stache, and not the white jesus either...dusky as THEE DUDE should be...I thought this might have been a trick question...I mean, he KNOWS who I am...but I don't want to come off as snarky, so I said "Names Johnny." He nodded sagely. I paused for a second, and then said,"You know a lot of people are looking for you." And without a hesitation he replied,"Ain't it the truth." Then the bus came. Jesus don't ride no bus, apparently. I got on and left Jesus at the bus stop. There's wisdom in there somewhere.