"He wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini"
Why? Because he's a cross-dresser.
Sousa's Liberty Bell march. Think Monty Python.
Hmm, see...
In that day and age, he was a man who had built up an impressive amount of power and influence and yet he never took a wife or a "servant". & despite religious writing, teaching, and preaching up until that point going on & on about the terrible sinfullness of homosexuality, he never mentions it...
I'm thinking he'll go with something from Queen or Elton John or somesuch.
"Jesus in the Sky with Diamonds"
Because if he can turn water into wine, why wouldn't he turn coal into diamonds?
Or, on second thought, maybe it could rhyme with the original: "Crucy in the Sky with Diamonds"