Why I Love Agnostic.com....
Internet bully rant:
I used to be on an atheist forum. I gave it up more than a year ago after being on there for 8 years. It was always male centric but when I first started there were about 15-20% females posting on there.
Slowly the environment changed, more and more trolls bulling females began showing up. They bullied males as well but not to the degree as against the females. Slowly over time the women dropped off, tired of the constant barrage of vulgar and denigrating posts directed at them, sometimes with graphic pictures (not of them but claiming it was them). And women posting about women's issues would invite a pile-on of denigration from the bullies.
I left the fo a couple of times for weeks at a time, so frustrated with the whole mess but it really galled me they could get away with such blatant misogyny and drive women out of a supposedly supportive atheist space. So I continued to go back and fight for the right for women to be there.
I finally quit because I felt like I was fighting alone. The female population had dwindled down to less than 5% and I just got sick of defending my right to be there. It exhausted me. I've been gone some 20 months or so.
I went in today, not to visit or post but to see if any women were left. So sad. I checked posts for several days and though the fo was averaging 150-200 posts a day the female percentage was almost nil. 2 post today, 3 yesterday (these totals include replies), none the day before and the same for the last week or so. I left, disheartened.
For years I fought the good fight but even I have my limits. I'm sorry for the three women that are left. It's not that they aren't welcome by the majority but they were and are not supported by the community. Instead of getting rid of the trolls they lost nearly every women who came to that fo to visit with other atheists. They lost the input of some fabulous women. 
Now it's just a men's fo, women need not apply.
I love that ag.com is not like that. So much love for you all.
20
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12 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.@mzbehavin It's ironic that any group that has a underlying exclusionary MGTOW theme (men going their own way), as that group seems to have, devotes so much time and energy to the topic of women. I'm curious, in your estimation, how many of those posts you read, were men, discussing women or feminism?
MarkiusMahamius
Level 7
Mar 25, 2019
0
@mzbehavin thats different than i would have expected. Im glad im wrong, i think.
Yes, this is definitely one of the things that makes Agnostic a great community. The occasional misogynist shows up but few last long - we are fortunate here in that there has been a large group of strong, intelligent women who have refused to take any shit right from the early days of the site, and we've been aided by the vast majority of men here as well as by Admin who has been determined to keep the place friendly and welcoming to all users who respect one another.
Jnei
Level 8
Mar 25, 2019
0
What were they thinking of, this site would be a lot duller if it was not for the female input.
Fernapple
Level 9
Mar 24, 2019
4
What is FO?
GuitarDoctor
Level 7
Mar 24, 2019
1
Forum.
thanks!
Does fo stand for forum? I was on another one that was respectful of women too, but it has closed down.
Stephanie99
Level 8
Mar 24, 2019
1
@mzbehavin I mean respectful as this one is.
To shed light on it - we are also a dating site. If there were that much misogyny - they'd be done.
There is some. But hey we do have a block feature. (Use it).
There's still plenty of people to talk to without that nonsense.
RavenCT
Level 9
Mar 24, 2019
5
This is a dating site?
Agreed. I really am extraordinarily grateful to have found this site, and feel
very much a part of a community. Even when we don't always agree.
I've seen, on more than one occasion, members stand up for one another.
Members being abusive to one another is generally not tolerated, regardless
of gender.
I've had more than a few of the male (and female) members tell me that while they wanted to "weigh in" on the occasions when I've been attacked, they didn't because they knew I could handle it myself. Some members have come to
my defense anyway. As I have gone to the defense of others.
That's how most of us roll around here.
I have zero expectation that will ever change.
We're also really protective and supportive of the site, in general, and don't suffer assholes gladly.
KKGator
Level 9
Mar 24, 2019
7
Whats ironic is the couple of known misogynistic guys that i knew here have mentioned they are leaving cause they found a site that was more athiest friendly and gave them more freedom to be themselves (people not telling them how to act and constantly censoring them).
Reading your post makes me think they found the place your talking about lmao!
Good! They can go enjoy their new tribe..
Myself i will keep fighting for THIS tribe cause i like the way this place is. ??
hippydog
Level 8
Mar 24, 2019
10
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