Very sorry for the pain your endured from living with an alcoholic. This site has saved my sanity after losing my husband this past June. I'm glad that you have this place to come to and write about what is on your mind. I hope you can find some peace in what others have to say to you here. Sending you hugs.

Do not be surprised if you experience some sadness and sense of loss over this even if you don't wish to. Even though you father was mean, he is the only father you'll ever have and it's the end of an era and the end of any hope of reconciliation or "closure" which you probably want on some level or other.

My wife's father is a judgmental asshat, emotionally absent, cowardly and a few other negative things and although she's worked hard to accept that he doesn't give two figs about her in most of the ways a healthy father-figure would, I believe his death, when it comes, will still sadden her. And that's okay. Let that happen, if and when it does.

There is a lot of men like that around, they are the products of their own upbringing. One has to feel sorry for them but even more sorry for the women the marry and the children they bring into this world. Take good care of yourself and remember you are nothing like your father.

Peace to you

Sorry for your bad feel, I had a father like yours. There's nothing after death for me, our parents are not in peace or anguish, they are just no more...

My dad passed away a few weeks ago, possible six to eight, and I was delighted to get the news. He was a miserable asshole and terrorized me until I was to big to hit, or big enough that I might hit back.
One of my sisters wrote an obituary for the local paper that was almost as long as War and Peace and completely nauseating. He was cremated so no burial. I think that I'll skip the memorial service next month for my own benefit and for everyone else. I don't think that I can stand up there choking on lies.

Peace to you. There are many here that know how you feel.

At reading your first sentence, I felt bad that you lost a parent. The rest, not so much. Parents can be great role models, even if they teach us how "not" to be. Massive hugs!

i am sorry for your loss. Regardless of how you felt about your father it is a loss to not have him around any longer. I loved my mother, for example, but on her passing I knew full well that many issues I had with her and my step father would now never be resolved. All I can do is cling to the better memories. It's deep and personal and mom was not a bad person really.

You say you hope there is nothing after we die. I don't share that hope but admit that we simply cannot know. If death is not the end exactly whatever happens later will NOT be like anything written down in any scripture or holy book. Most likely death will be very much like things were before you were born.

Rest easy and know that you had no choice.

Hugs..be good to yourself

Some people are born broken; others just end up that way. Your father was one of them and as they say "Hurt people, hurt other people."

When painful things happen to us, the best thing we can do is learn from them and make certain we don't inflict wounds on others as a result.

I hope you can heal from his inflictions, now that he's gone, and save yourself from days of resentment.

Kind of isolating, in my imagination. Personal issues and the majority are talking of god when atheist know that it's bull. What we see plainly (no god) is a crutch for those whom have no other way to comfort/make sense of things. The term "their suffering is over" is more comforting than anything about heaven and that jazz. Hope you feel better about things. At our base we do love one another. Life is tough, but carry on and make the best of it.

I was 26 when my mother passed. It certainly put things in perspective. You seem to be have a good attitude about it. I hope you stay well.